a box in the heart...

the year is ending ... bla bla bla ....happy new year.. bla bla bla...

besides those above, i slowly realise that it IS going to be 2007. and i realise again, it has NOT been that far since i graduated. it was ONLY aug 13 since i came back. that makes IT 4 and a half months since i came back. and i have been working for 3 months now.

i'm still stuck in that phase of time really passing so slowly. i thought 4 years has passed. but no, it is still 2006! i watched the world cup! i sat those exams! i graduated!
i was thinking about it. it probably felt so long has passed because we were really that close in Adelaide. and with just some short moment of days or weeks passing, it felt like years has passed.

oh yeah... a box in the heart. i don't think i'm 'giving' that well to the youths. i do 'give' but i know myself that i have been reserved. i feel like i have this precious box in my heart that i have sealed and reinforced it with top security. what's that box? that is everything in Adelaide. i fear that if i open it up or give any away, i'd forget about it and it will all just fade into the wind and disappear.

even now that the year is passing ( in a few hours time), i get that little scared feeling that as the year starts, i start losing that precious box bit by bit as things are continuing on and also starting anew.

things are hard to let go.
and also to quote one of my beloved seniors wise words before i left, 'to move on, you've got to let go.'

have a blessed year ahead...

1 Corinthians 2:9
However, as it is written: "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him
[do look up this verse and read furthermore the passage]

what a saturday...

a saturday filled... that's great. but a bit too filled also.
morning - hike with GCFers.
late afternoon - youth committee meeting at church.
evening - dinner with OCFers. more like ex-ocfers.

had a climb up klang gates mountains with the GCFers. it is not a hike. a hike sounds very easy. it was a climb. a real real climb. we prayed before we climbed. and safety was great. no serious injuries or twists or sprains.

the hike or streneous climb took longer than expected. i couldn't make it for my MYF meeting. so sorry to the pres. bad example... but sent her and called her for apologies. will be at the next meeting.

it was great having a gathering at stephanie's house. richard and sylvy was there too. drove up from singapore. it is pretty much the oldies. all of them have left before me. oh oops! except shelley.
and well, some things never change. we're still crazy. but our talks have gone to financial planning and investment. how cool is that? it is now a time of 'what are we going to do with the money that we have earned?'. haha... i foresee we're going to be talking about baby powder and parenting 10 years down the road.

writings...

a weary traveller on the narrow road,
each step shuffles on to a direction with hope,
knowing each step is in faith,
knowing each step takes his strength.

a quiet pool is of great blessings
for the heart that sacrificed much,
knowing prayer brought him far,
knowing comfort is of God.

only God knows his heart,
what makes him smile or aches,
of heart-lifting experiences that brings life , and
of colourful memories that are now only shades,

of a song,
when its all been said and done,
there is just one thing that matters,
did i do my best to live for Truth?
did i live my life for You?

the lonely traveller finds solace
in the Word of God that never changes,
giving his best to shine for God, to be
giving His love to others,
knowing most is never seen.

'what jewels do i have to show?' he despairs.
'your jewels are in my hands', said the Lord.

that's all he needed to know.

Christmas?

nah.. didn't feel much actually this Christmas, as in those Christmas excitement.
maybe cause i've been busy doing stuff + working.

but one thing did encourage me most was a gift.
i got a planet shakers shirt. it kind of struck me a lot. it has like many folds but also show i think a lot.

1) it is a first gift from a church friend + youth cell group leader.
- a welcome back from my church friend. we grew up together in church. honestly, i didn't expect anything. so i got quite a shock. she thought of me when i was involved with the church musical and couldn't go for the planet shakers conference. + it was too far.
2) its expensive.
- waliau! i know the prices of these t-shirts man...
3) planet shakers is from Adelaide.
- i guess she didn't think of that (maybe she did) but it is a kick or a little taste of Adelaide. so, indirectly, a thought of Adelaide is given for my Christmas present.
4) i feel loved.

i am guilty for not getting anyone anything. just got a few stuff.

besides doing 'stuff', i was trying to focus and learn, more of strip everything down to its core to see Christmas as it really is. you know, we always hear those type of messages/emails titled, 'the true meaning of Christmas' or 'what is Christmas actually?'.
it would be my fault to bore myself (in a way) this Christmas but i wanted it. i wanted to see its wire-frame and foundations.
its just some sudden desire lately to strip everything down and see what it really is.

Jesus Christ. God. Emmanuel.

busy nights,,,

busy nights?
oh yeah man...

i didn't plan but the plans came.

i can't remember what i did on monday. i just remember i worked late.
tuesday was music practise for Christmas service. its quite a difficult song to pull off nicely.
wednesday was shopping, alone. and i know shopping's not one of my talent. going through the whole KLCC pretty quick and remembering shop's lot numbers are my talents.

thursday was company dinner. and so they say i've made a new meaning to the word 'bottomless'. i ate a lot.

after that was Gillian's birthday. i was super late. company dinner lasted till 10 and i reached her home at 10.50 p.m. (starts at 8pm) but i was ever determined to go.
not only to pass her my gift, but to also see my sister. she took care of me and nurtured me + having lots of patience with me, always telling me things to do or not to do (most i don't understand why or her intentions-of-wisdom too).
i only understood at a much later stage. how could i ever thank her? i miss my sister very much.
it was a small but big hearted celebration with close friends. i'm 'proud' to say that i was the youngest there. hee hee hee...
having just this little meeting, it is a precious little memory. inspires and refreshes.

i know this is going to sound kind of dramatic but its true.
it hasn't been long. but a hug makes a lot of difference. A LOT.
i know i felt care, refreshment and burdens lifted.
a hug....

so they return...so they graduate...

everyone's back... they're back for the holidays...

it's been pretty weird. i had a long silence and was wondering what happened to them. of course there was exams and then convention. it wasn't really that long, but it felt super long.

i didn't plan anything but got to go out with a few OCFers. it was an interesting journey. i just really wanted to catch up with a dear (short-legged) brother of mine. well, i got that, and also bonus, get to spend it with a few others.

it really lifted my spirits a lot. and as i think about it, what the? its only (since aug13) 4 months!!! its not that long. but it felt so long. anyways, spending that short time with them was great.

this week is also the graduation days of many people. congratulations... they reached the finish line, only to start a new race... okay that didn't come out right. they reached the finish line, and so a new journey begins!
- my question is, did you all see God working in your race? -
my dear brownie sister, my dear antenna brother, my dear elder mad sister (who calls me rosy cheeked brother), my dear hp othello brother, my dear (momo) brother and i know there are others but i can't remember who. (try and guess who these 5 are)

and like guy sebastian's Australian Idol Song, 'Angels brought me here';
it's been a long and winding journey,
but i'm finally here tonight,
picking up the pieces,
and walking back into the light....

p.s. just that part lah...

what a week!

well, firstly, i got to deal with the sunburn. i cannot believe i'm putting moisturizer on my face and skin 2-3 times a day. i have to but oh man, like a girl already. the first time i have to do this considering the degree of sunburns that i have.

work increased. so when i came back i didn't see a pile of work placed on my desk. but i saw it being placed on my desk. and as i finished friday, i couldn't solve a problem my manager gave me. it was tough.

what took most of my energy was not having enough sleep because i'm involved in the Christmas musical. okay.. i know i said i wasn't going to be involved but that was the choir. then they called me for the keyboard. so, okay... can... its some canggih keyboard, like a one man band. i am the one man orchestra for now. haha...

the musical is today. saturday night. got to be wearing all black. that's why i call my black shirt my performance shirt. wear only for performances and funerals.

p.s. at the moment i'm at the peeling stage. so i look like i'm a burnt victim.

YOUTHQUAKE IV !!!

okay.. for the first time i use apostrophes. and for a good reason too. no, its not my wedding, but its YOUTHQUAKE!!! the national methodist camp. its like rarer than the olympics so its much more valuable. its once every 5 years (so happen to be lah).

i wasn't suppose to go but ronald ask for help and i thought, okay... go lah if boss got give me leave. and its truly God's blessings my manage gave me from wednesday until monday. i know i need to recuperate.

i've been to youthquake 5 years ago (i was 17) as a participant and now i am at youthquake as a helper/counsellor/assistant tribe leader. honestly, i just came to serve and help ronald. i pretty much know nothing except that i've been away 4 years and have lost out a lot on who's who and what's happening and who's the current youths.

so i went expecting nothing but some tough conditions. and as usual, God amazes me again and again. i was 'wow'ing most of the way. i went there a day earlier with ronald and help with the set-ups. and i got shy cause i see these great adults who served in the youth ministy (i heard they're like icons) and also see the youths who were there earlier to prepare.

but okay, okay, be brave. take away the shyness. get to know each other. and wow! to just see their joy and spirit and their passion. its wonderful. to see those that are younger than me, and to see those that are around me age, and to see those much senior really keep going on for this passion and this heart for the youths.

and when the adults shared in our closing helpers meeting today, waliau... i don't know how to describe it.
one thing for sure is that my eyes are opened for God's works in malaysia. the harvest is plenty but the workers are few.

there's so much to share, i got to do it in bits.
i'm going to have a new group called youthquake4 on my msn. there's so many...

the site for YouthQuake 4 = yqiv.multiply.com

P.S. i got more lame jokes too...

prophecy....

i always remember this passage as one of the passages that most bible quizzes ask. they always ask who is the guy and who was the lady or what did they say, how many doves.

this time, as i was going through it, it awed me. it AWED me. i try to imagine it like some booming voice but obviously it isn't cause it was some old guy (assumed to be old) saying it. it was probably said in a firm voice with the strength and spirit of God echoing its majesty.

"....causing the fall and rising of many in Israel and to be a sign that will be spoken against, so that the thoughts of many hearts will be revealed. "
fooh! try that man...
i think if a prophecy of such strength is made of me, i'll be going, 'huh?'

the passage is
Luke 2:25-40

25 Now there was a man in Jerusalem called Simeon, who was righteous and devout. He was waiting for the consolation of Israel, and the Holy Spirit was upon him. 26 It had been revealed to him by the Holy Spirit that he would not die before he had seen the Lord's Christ. 27 Moved by the Spirit, he went into the temple courts. When the parents brought in the child Jesus to do for him what the custom of the Law required,

28 Simeon took him in his arms and praised God, saying:
29 "Sovereign Lord, as you have promised, you now dismiss your servant in peace.
30 For my eyes have seen your salvation, 31 which you have prepared in the sight of all people, 32 a light for revelation to the Gentiles and for glory to your people Israel."

33 The child's father and mother marveled at what was said about him. 34 Then Simeon blessed them and said to Mary, his mother: "This child is destined to cause the falling and rising of many in Israel, and to be a sign that will be spoken against, 35 so that the thoughts of many hearts will be revealed. And a sword will pierce your own soul too."

36 There was also a prophetess, Anna, the daughter of Phanuel, of the tribe of Asher. She was very old; she had lived with her husband seven years after her marriage, 37 and then was a widow until she was eighty-four. She never left the temple but worshiped night and day, fasting and praying. 38 Coming up to them at that very moment, she gave thanks to God and spoke about the child to all who were looking forward to the redemption of Jerusalem.

weekend?

well, i know i was going to have a busy weekend.

having christmas cantata practise at 12-2pm, organ training at 2-5pm, Myf AGM at 3-5pm, MYF Christmas party at 6-10pm+ . phew... and that's a saturday. yeah.. i know organ training and AGM clashes so when it comes to voting and nomination they miss call me and i leave organ training for a while. oh yeah... i am the new treasurer. honestly, i still forget that i am treasurer. still hasn't registered in the brain yet.

work? well, i finish stuff up pretty fast and keeping good discipline. but i'm waking up moodier now. i was talking to a good friend and asking him how its has been for him to be working so long. i said its only 2 months-plus for me and the mundane routine is starting to eat into me. (with some dramatic-thoughtful effect) you know, it just makes me want to sit down on the steps, look into the vast sky, gaze into the endless starry night, with a deep sigh, ask, 'what is the meaning of life?'

knowing my age, he looked at me and said, 'man, you got a pretty long way more to go'. hahaha... a nice laugh with a brother who impacted me since young. its great to see him again.