Thursday, September 29, 2005


i would say i have the pleasure of having 2 wonderful brothers as my housemates. truly, we are very different from each other. after the leadership retreat, probably, somewhere deep within us, we realised that we may have taken each other for granted.
but also from the leadership retreat we realised that we have grown to love and respect each other more than ever for each of our weird ways.

had a very good time laughing with them on monday night, bringing out conspiracies and funny lines. haha.
on tuesday night, it was arthur asking me to tell him everything about abraham, isaac, jacob, joseph and the formation of the twelve tribes and the underlying lessons. talk about learning... he really wants to learn.

the past few days were days that are meant to be putting effort into 'working hard'. they've been coming back late. my sleeping schedule is also a little bit haywire.

remember, For the Generations.
study for your grandchildren. hahaha...

Sunday, September 25, 2005

2nd day...

2nd day of kairos.

straight from the heart, i expected some things, but got bigger things.
everyone have gone through the programmes they planned. and we have also seen the example of the leadership in them and also their hearts. i wonder how long they have prayed for the Spirit-filled event.

lessons are learnt.
meaningful practices were carried out. hours seem like minutes where all tiredness are forgotten when everyone embraces each other with hearts full of Spirit, to thank and encourage each other.

wanting to remember, pretty much everything that happened.
but what stood out was, 'For the Generations'. the significant carnival games. the worship. the prayer, followed by communion. the lighting and exchange of the candles, followed by the encouragement, advice and prayer of your fellow brothers and sisters that you exchanged with.

we see one of the gatherings of leaders. leaders whose age has come and whose age has just begun. indeed, all in God's timing. i will miss it. i know i will.

thank you, to God's servants who had organised kairos.
to God, for ever being our Redeemer, Saviour and Friend.

Saturday, September 24, 2005

a week!

oh man... the last time i posted was a week ago. sorry.
hmmm, well, didn't have anything to post.

there are things that can't be posted cause it is much better to be written down on a journal.

at the moment going through a leadership retreat. it has been good. the speakers, were good. uncle vincent spoke very directly and it is not often you see such frankness and honesty. he spoke right into my heart, of 2 big issues that i face. sorry i can't post it. i'd rather tell you face to face when the time comes.

the day before, in OCF, raymond spoke yet another direct cut into my heart. of the basic foundation of a disciple of Christ, learning and ever eager to know Him.
of bad habits and thoughts that are needed to be unlearnt.
of good foundations that should be retained.

was getting too tired at the end of the evening today. i have to admit that my mind just pulled out and stopped, then there was the fighting-not-to-sleep, and then nodding off. i remember the first part of Pastor Tim's message, but i was gone at number 3. sigh, another thing that i need to unlearn.

sleeping early today.

and don't forget to get solitude and silence to be together with Him.

Friday, September 16, 2005

spanish songs...

i was just listening to a big portion of andrea bocelli's songs and then something suddenly clicked into my mind something about the feature, texture and style of the songs, though mostly were in spanish.

i had been intrigued when i was listening to josh groban's songs, spanish and english. i'm sure we are familiar with his songs 'To where you are' and 'You're still you' plus his newer songs. i was amazed at how these songs are written. they are just english songs, but the melody has a different twist in it that makes it outstanding. i was wondering and searching for this 'twist' and i think i found it.

the english songs has the 'twist' of spanish texture and style in it. andrea bocelli and josh groban have similar singing styles. maybe josh followed andrea's style. (i hope janice didn't read this) both are magnificent.

there are a few of andrea's english songs that just really stand out as well. and i believe the spanish 'twist' in the english songs are making a lot of difference. if not, we'll just be getting the normal boy band songs about love and break ups.

Thursday, September 15, 2005

guess what?

i had some good rest in the evening and then was working till late in the night. i planned to work through the night and then hit the 6.30 a.m. Man U Champions League match. guess what i found at 5 a.m.?

no, i did not find ProActiv advertisements only.
US evangelist Pastor Benny Hinn preached about the power of Jesus' name.
remember, in the book of Acts, Peter and John was walking through the temple gate called Beautiful and there was a beggar there who ask Peter and John for money. Peter said, 'silver and gold have i none. but in the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, rise up and walk'. and the beggar was walking and leaping. it was the first ever recording, that Jesus' name was used.

not the great prophet Isaiah or Jeremiah had the priviledge to use Jesus' Name. but one of the lowest group of people of that time, fishermen, had the priviledge to use Jesus' Name. God called the weak and ordinary to be the tools of God.

it is through the power of Jesus' name that people are healed and demons cast out. and not just physical healing, but also healing of the heart, soul and mind. it is through Jesus that there is the possibility of forgiveness of sins and a revival in the spirit.

remember how Jesus stopped the public from stoning a woman caught for adultery? He said, 'those that have not sinned throw the first stone' and the crowd slowly fade away. just as the imperfect can't condemn the imperfect, the imperfect also cannot forgive the sins of the imperfect. we can forgive to rebuild the relationship/friendship but not the sins. and only someone perfect can forgive... only God can forgive... Jesus Christ.

a perfect person, Jesus Christ, has died. but that is not suppose to be because only those that has sinned will die. and because of the break in logic, the grip of sin and death has been brokened. there is hope now, of redemption and of life.

why are true Christians claiming, that there is hope in the world? because of the simple message that there IS hope. no big words. there IS... in Jesus Christ.

Wednesday, September 14, 2005


been working on Excel sheets again for the past few hours, doing financial stuff and economic thinking. big words, but its just assignments.

maybe its one of my traits of lacking total focus, but i was suddenly overwhelmed with sadness of how the world is.
of how desperation of establishing ourselves has seeped into our lives.
of how circular thinking and reasoning governs our minds.
of how freedom has been changed to doing anything you want.
of how values are compromised to suit others or the situation.
of how we are taught to think of ourselves.
of how we are using the world as a measure of excellence for our lives.

a little walk around the blog world will tell.
of pride.
of self-righteousness.
of selfish lives.
of 'righteous' comments.
of short-term lives.

we are taught to think. but even with knowledge and realization and truth-right-in-your-face, the choice to ignore and to leave it can still be picked. such is the power of free will.

There is a longing, only ___ can fill
A raging tempest, only ___ can still

Tuesday, September 13, 2005


well, the thing i planned didn't work out. i thought i had thought off everything. didn't take into account that evaporation of the glue would be faster if its cold and slightly windy. oh well, its an original idea so with its first mistakes.

anyways, test results are horrible. 2 16's out of 25 for both tests. what are the chances. and i thought i'd be scoring about 20 over. sigh... where did i go wrong? disappointing. maybe its the way i answer or something.

well, i've been staring at nothing but excel spreadsheets the past few days. come to think of it, since last week! i probably see grids everywhere now. taking a break from excel for a while. i should be excelling seeing the amount of time i spend with Excel. (L.A.M.E.)

i forgot about purpose driven for a while. oops! been reading 'recapture the wonder' and some parts of the early Old Testament. i realised i have been quite proud thinking that i would remember everything i learnt in sunday school and for bible quizes. well, i also discovered that i have forgotten a lot and the details are becoming vague. of course its not about knowledge. if you read the Bible, and failed to see God in there (e.g. working in the lives of those people), then you better read again.

Sunday, September 11, 2005

church anniversary...

it was the Goodwood Methodist 15th anniversary.
they had 3 different cakes. the bishop was here to preach also. and 2 baptisms took place. and also a few presentations and a sketch about worship by the english congregation. every small part was important.

the english congregation is small. but that's the good part. we get to know each other much better and could build each other up. they're going to have their Festival of Praise. the event is really taking shape compared to last year. there is a more specific purpose and a clearer goal. of course, now that they're more experienced. saw and heard of the preparations. i was invited to help but i couldn't. very sorry. i had to cease as much activities as possible, so that i can concentrate on my studies and make my parents smile. it was really a tough struggle. knowing that i have to say no, and not wanting to say no, but having to say no.

i thank them for respecting my decision. now i really better not waste my time. if not, i would have been better off helping. my mind went to this verse,
'A wise child makes a glad father, but the foolish despise their mothers.'
Proverbs 15:10
yes, harsh words. but that is reality. and it is written in the bible. there are a few more. not to be foolish but to be wise.

today is also elaine's birthday. happy birthday to her. how much she has grown and learned to love God more. going to attempt something as a surprise. hopefully it works.

Wednesday, September 07, 2005


i'm awake early again. woo hoo!
but i had a little mess on monday night. slept late which is 11pm so i was messed up a bit. but it seems good now.

postings have been really slow lately. i wonder why. but nevermind that.
these past few weeks, there are a few things that i point myself to remember.

1) the importance of prayer - praying and talking to God in silence and in prayer.
2) the importance of wisdom - many things we don't understand but we do not see the effects till we are in it. the difference of short-term and long-term.
3) the importance of memorizing scripture or bible verses - the importance of holding them close to your heart.
4) seeking God first - just as how King David was a 'man after God's heart'.

went to the showground on sunday after church. it was fun. to see the games and the rides. i went there to get my coca-cola bag. haha... the dogs there were cool. and please don't remind me that i got kissed by a dog. apparently, the female husky fell in love with me.

tuesday the whole BS group attended ee ling's graduation. gold colour for psychology. a whole new chapter in front of her. may God continue to guide you, dear friend.
then i cycled to koorong to get 2 books. 'Recapture the Wonder' by Ravi Zacharias and 'Desiring God' by John Piper.
Recapture the Wonder was only $10.00 and Desiring God was $20. but i just bought Recapture, finding the language and style pretty clicking to my brain. i browsed through Desiring God but felt that it would be later that i read it. it's pretty thick with concentrated info.

Friday, September 02, 2005


yup... i am up and awake again and its 4 a.m.

ending a long day yesterday, the 25% test didn't seem so bad after all though it definitly did freak me out and playing the piano today, oh what joy!
shifting out of lincoln makes me pianoless unless i sneak into elder hall to use the piano.

i remember journeying through many musicals in church back home... to how the progress and process through each musical is just tough. and many times losing the purpose of the musical while persevering. it was always an effort of faith.

and i guess it was there i learnt about the different types of people and reactions. i remember how i use to react quite badly when people talk 'too much' as they give feedback. of course being one of the younger ones, i was then taught to receive it in love though i was in protest of the context the person is coming from.

comments and feedbacks will come from both ends, drawing on the lines of honest critism and hopefully, not blatant sitting-by-the-bench-dato-datin remarks. sometimes i just wonder whether it is a question of perspective and relativity of standards. whether the person says it out of love or out of pride and positioning himself at the top status to give comments, that is between the person and God.

it is a work of faith. people will question. people will talk. but if the event has been upheld into God's hands and in accordance to God's laws and is God-driven, then leave it in God's hands for it has been blessed by God since the start.
take heart. and pray for protection of the mind for satan uses such comments to poison your mind.

ok, ok... back to purpose driven life... all to the glory of God