Sunday, January 30, 2005


'a prayer of gratitude is a prayer of peace.'

a prayer of gratidute = a prayer of peace.

i was talking with a friend of mine and he mentioned that. a prayer of gratitude is a prayer of peace. for the abundant blessings in our lives.

have we thank God for the many things he has given us?
i'll rephase.
have we had a prayer of gratitude from our hearts to God for the blessings that He has showered upon us?

saying 'thank you' is easy.
but to really say 'thank you'?

God blessed me a lot. the list is neverending.
even now, i've just been given a free table, mattress and bedframe and pots and pans.
but its not only materials of course.

the more i am grateful and thankful, the more peace my heart feels, knowing God is watching over me.
smile more.

Friday, January 28, 2005

with all i am...

it's a wonderful song. i can just imagine this song being portrayed out on an MTV video. a person in long flowing white robes walking as if every step is meaningful while visioning himself forward. in a leaf covered path in an autumn-coloured forest while singing the verse. and when it comes to the chorus the person falls on his knees and lift both his hands to the sky.
or it could also be a weary traveller, worn out clothes, walking stick, dirty bag. trudging through a leaf covered path again. but this times its a black and white, maybe tainted dirty green. and it is winter branches for the trees. maybe a little bit of wind rustling the leaves. and when it comes to the chorus, he is on his knees. and when it comes back to the verse again, he wearily gets up and walk again.

all this in class? oh man... i better go and re read my notes.

With All I Am

into Your hand
i commit again
with all I am
for You

You hold my world
in the palm of Your hand
and I'm Yours forever

Jesus I believe in You
Jesus I belong to You
You're the reason that I live
the reason that I sing
with all I am

I'll walk with You
wherever You go
through tears and joy
I'll trust in You

and I will live
in all of Your ways and
Your promises forever
I will worship I will worship you forever


Wednesday, January 26, 2005

tennis 2...

well, roger federer defeated andre agassi.

but this other match was really a breathtaking match. corny-ly, the players were taking lots of breath as well for the super long game (lame-o).
lleyton hewitt defeated david nalbanian. (quarter finals)
6-3, 6-2, 1-6, 3-6, 10-8. and the match was over 4 hours.
what endurance, what mental strength.

david produced 2 great shots. one around the net, and another under his legs (and i'm sure everyone thought he was unable to return that shot). cool stuff!

i was just wondering what must have been going on in their minds. to have the ability to keep hold of yourself and your mind. to still have the ability to think and perform under all circumstances and pressure.

imagine the whole stadium cheering against you. and you're like the only one standing against the opponent? body is stretched. on the brink of winning. your head is throbbing. how much more immense can the pressure be?

the true character of the person shows out under pressure.

Tuesday, January 25, 2005


the days just pass so fast. and i just finished a small test.

it is the australian open now. full coverage on the big stars by channel 7 in australia. watched the many big stars play. and i had adrian low to add more knowledge onto me about tennis. after he told me, that tennis is a very big mental game, ok... that caught my attention. and i see tennis in a different way now. i put myself in the tennis player's shoes now. its not about the skill or winning. but really finishing the line.

what makes a player great? of course, there is the skill and hard work. but what makes a player greater is the capability of the mental strength and spirit. i have watched many nice matches. lleyton hewitt is an example. his match with raphael nabal was intense. to crawl up and pick up to continue and fight on. no matter how deep the trouble you are in or how close the opponent is going to win. nabal nearly won. lleyton going down 3-6, 1-6 (2nd and 3rd set) but lleyton just grabbed back, at 7-6 (4th set) and won the 5th set and the match. that would be what makes him a great player.

how are we on our journey? what is our mental strength? God allows tests on us to build us up for a greater purpose. as hard as it is and many times (mostly) things don't seem that way (it is not great), at least use the last little finger to hold on to that hope.

ok... roger federer and andre agassi match coming up.

Saturday, January 22, 2005

Micah 6:8

He has showed you, O man, what is good.
And what does the Lord require of you?
To act justly and to love mercy
and to walk humbly with your God.
Micah 6:8

this verse was on the wooden 'name' keychain where they tell you the meaning of your name. the verse reminds me of what God just wants of us. i sometimes thought of it as like a tick board. its just ONLY 3 things to tick. but am i able to tick that i have completed each of it? to act justly? to love mercy? to walk humbly with God? it's possible. but all the time? hmmmm... ok...

but its not by might, nor power. but by the spirit of God(aiyah... can't remember where the verse comes from). that we are able to accomplish these things, and each day, be moulded by God.

Friday, January 21, 2005

ephesians 3:20

'Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throught out all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.'
Ephesians 3:20 (NIV)

in the Living Bible translation, 'God is able to do far more than we would ever dare to ask or even dream of - infinitely beyond our highest prayers, desires, thoughts, or hopes.' Eph 3.20

that's day 3 of 'the purpose driven life'.

ever thought of that?

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

an audience of One.

it was a few days ago. been living a 'single' life. just in and out, in and out with the addition of being internet-less except until now. there are days that i have not spoken a word except asking the tutors how to do some maths questions.

and i was wondering, wow, what a life. i'm fine with it. but i was also wondering, there must be some people who are feeling like that. 'lonely' in their world, searching for something to live for. a purpose.

which brought me back to a phrase that i always remember. 'living for an audience of One.' living for God! the phrase is from the book 'The Purpose Driven Life' by Rick Warren. interestingly, Joanne Pang was the one who shared this with me last year (yes, yes, my many dear OCFers can stop laughing now).

a person does good to others, but is backstabbed and hurt in return. so what's the use of continuing to do good? or living a good life but still people judge you? well, who are you living for?

how have you been living? what are you living for? who are you living for?
and chok has the book in his room. that's cool. just stumbled upon it. alright, i can start the journey.


came back and started reading again. looked for books to read. and so far, these are the few books that i read in a few weeks.

finished chok's 'Star Wars : Shadows of the Empire'. trust the Force? haha... trust God man...

finished reading 'Of God and Men' by A.W. Tozer. suppose to return it for yvonne to the OCF library when OCF starts again. it's quite an old book but many of the messages are so relevant. where have the Men of God gone?

finished 'The Case for Christ' by Lee Strobel for the dunno how many times already. the brilliant scholars and acadamieans. standing scrutiny and providing evidence. i better not try and look for my 'The Case for Faith' or i'll be stuck again to it.

now reading 'The Secret of Loving' by Josh Mcdowell. if you're just reading it, it will be fast. but if thinking deeper, well, its takes quite long cause a lot can be thought deeply within its lines. a lot of linkage to experiences that we have been through or have seen. pretty interesting though cause most of it was quite focused on being a couple already. but nevertheless, its is still applicable for your 'neighbours' and of course, the future.

Tuesday, January 18, 2005

albert's farewell...

well, let's trace back.

that was the sunday. the 16th of Jan. OCFers had a bbq for him on saturday evening and then a time of fellowship and prayer with albert. then later went to his house and helped him clear some stuff, pack some stuff, spend some last moments with him. our last moments of conversation (at 2 a.m!) was about living as a christian in the world, looking at 2 viewpoints from non christian backgrounds (albert) and christian backgrounds (ee leon and i) together with michael. seeing how one adapts to the surroundings and managing situations and its ethics.

he is surprising. his heart is really big. probably identical to a Care Bear. seeing him want to bless others with the belongings that he can't bring home. not wanting to make any profits but want to know that someone is happy and has been blessed.

am glad that i could see him go off. ee leon, michael and i sent albert off at the airport. he was still in his joking mood and smiling. indeed he did mention that his best time was at OCF. how we should treasure those times...

no internet...

i don't know what happened to the internet connection at chok's house. just suddenly no more. and i'm no computer genius. tried here and there and many trial and errors and all possible combinations but to no avail.

summer course is really starting to show its intensity. i didn't even realise that one week has passed already.
the blog was left alone. since i couldn't figure out what's the connection problem. chock didn't pay internet ah? hee hee.

no bloggings for that long. though i did have some updates and new thoughts.

now i finally got some dial up prepaid stuff. the frustration just to get it connected and to get the other softwares working together as well. oh man... so frustrating. after getting connected, its alright. then when i try to get the MSN or ICQ working its disconnects again. and it is already tough trying to get online and with the dial-up cost.


Tuesday, January 11, 2005

barbequed angel at 40C

well, monday 36 celcius and today 40 celcius.

the air was super hot and the sun, really shines through you. even when i was cycling, my brake handle and the frame just grew hot under the sun (from mackinnon parade to uni). the air was super dry as well.

the wind was really strong. had really strong resistance while cycling. hot wind. breathing through the nose, hurts the nose and insides (can feel it burning). breathing through the mouth doesn't make it better but makes your throat dryer and sore.

got it before, but this ones worse. a new experience.

downstairs of the house is cooling. but with the doors closed to keep the hot air out, it does get stuffy. but upstairs is really hot. after sitting down for a few minutes, your body will radiate heat also. you need the fan constantly on yourself. and this is not even the middle of summer!!!

alright alright... think, think... it is better than bathing in winter... it is better than bathing in winter...

cooking and gardening.

it has been an adventure since i came back on the 2nd.

i'm actually quite surprised that i didn't starve or anything. and i can't seem to remember anything that i have cooked. i think i ate the same thing everyday. yeah... i think so. so it seemed like i ate a few meals. but i ate enough. lots of boiling stuff. fast and easy. and i just chuck everything in to boil. so its does look good. used maggi mee for the carbo but not the seasoning.

did gardening. just cleared up chok's garden and some trimming. so it looks much more cleared and cleaned up too. reminded me about how God cleans up and prunes and takes care of us. maintaining a nice garden is tough. lots of work. and how God keeps each of us beautiful and pruning us to be a beautiful tree.

that's how people say of each other, that the face is radiant, shining God's light. just like how the beauty of the flowers and the garden shines out.

Sunday, January 09, 2005

yvonne's farewell

another dear sister that passes back to malaysia.

i was glad and honoured to be able to drive yvonne to the airport yesterday. was glad to be able to come back here early enough to see her home and help her to be prepared to go home (though i really feel sad doing it). when i came back here, my tai kar che helped me to settle in quick and aiding me with dinner and keeping me company.

she is quite good at seeing through people. probably a gift of hers. she can see through deep deep secrets. i'm sure she surprised a few people with her intuition. ever joyful and caring for people around her. being a good listener and elder sister to others. watching out for me. and advising me and keeping me down in many ways.

she has been here for 2 years in adelaide. i saw how she grew so much, to a faithful woman of God. her time and purpose in adelaide is done. now, her time in malaysia has started.

God be with you always, dear sister.

Saturday, January 08, 2005

chen & siew seen's engagement

celebrated their engagement yesterday night.

was at ee leon's house. had OCFers, mostly the graduated ones, and also their church friends. ee leon worship lead and chong yau gave a short message. then we had dinner. there were lots of food. really a lot. and later spent time with each other. chen and siew seen prepared some powerpoint photos of their time together in adelaide (and that is 5 years already) and had a gift opening session. the gifts were really interesting and cool. there was a cup where its stand is half a heart and you need 2 of it to make a whole heart. and 2 photo frames with a joined message across when put together.

got to know some people better. and really a wow that chen and siew seen have been together for 5 years already. its like the seniors of OCF are all getting married already. andrew and joanne, raymond and ee laine, chen and siew seen. who's next? G? haha... i saw the senior batch of OCF fellowshiping with one another at ee leon's place (stephanie and i are the youngest). and hmm... we (my batch) are next. it will still be some time, but it's coming.

its like family. how God's love encompasses each of us and joins us together in one family.

Tuesday, January 04, 2005

of busy days and dreams...

with the start of classes, things definitely gets busier. and got to adapt to the schedule to fit out a prepare daily routine.

God grant me diligence and the discipline and a firm mind that i do not lose focus, and yet, to still have patience and tactfulness and not forgetting others around me. how hard it is, to be a man of God.

having watched the phantom of the opera and listening to the wonderful orchestration just brings back fires of dreams, of wanting to write scores and songs and music, for worship. a worship like don moen. to worship God. for heaven will be like that. multitudes from every tongue and tribe worshipping God.
somehow, dreams are dimned. if only i had more training and more proper training. if i had more time and opportunities. one day....i hope it will come true.

the time would not be now, for it is a different purpose. the days are busy and time is crucial. how does it be, that a passion for music, and a path in finance?
it does not connect.......... for human eyes.

God knows the future. God holds our future in His hands. it is whether can we put our full trust in Him. how can i be complaining of the current path i have, if God had planned it? Lord, let my heart be after You always. don't let pride get in the way, or mixed with dreams. i don't care whether people look down on me, or judge me. it hurts. but i want to live for You. use whatever i have. mould me of my weaknesses. i try to live the best and in excellence for You, but when you get lots of sides being pressed on you, it is hard on me, Lord. grant me continuous healing from my past year. let not my heart and dreams disappear.

of busy days and dreams...

Monday, January 03, 2005

back in adelaide...

i am back in adelaide.
was pretty exhausted with many things to do immediately when i came back such as meeting with my new landlord, discussing stuff, buying food, settling in the house, searching for my stuff. definitely didn't get enough sleep on the plane.

trying to settle in and all. am in chok's place at the moment. many thanks to him and his household for letting me stay in their house for the moment.

was pretty scary. couldn't sleep for the first night. it was a big change after 2 years in college. alone in a big house. and the only thing seperating me from the outside world, is glass. where's the security! its dark also. had to explore the house, what switch is what, and especially the food. got to clean up the house. a small repayment from me for letting me stay. but its good. all good. there is still the shelter and walls. but yes, a different experience.

am pretty grateful to kah wai, yvonne and li ting. and yvonne and li ting invited me over for dinner yesterday when i just came back. i helped cleared your stuff and su ling's stuff in the hall, G. hee hee... just set them aside. and met deborah tan again. kah wai came over the next day and cooked some chicken porridge for lunch. and then went to watch 'phantom of the opera with yvonne and li ting. came back and had to cook some dinner. and am preparing for uni which starts tomorrow.