Tuesday, May 23, 2006


its a blessing to have the people around me.

at times when i doubt myself, they encourage me. learning from them and being able to get honest feedbacks from them as well.

comparing with the absolutely sour pie last year, my housemates did the most amusing by taking out a 3-day old meat pie from the fridge and light a candle on it. after blowing it out, they save the candle for future usage. hahaha... typical guys.

a simple yet meaningful celebration of about 20 people in a Chocolate Bean Cafe was about just right. a small group. definitely have to thank priscilla and moses for organizing lots of it. if it weren't for them, i'd be spending my birthday in the library studying.

the people i chose to invite (hope the elder ones don't bash me up) were the younger ones in OCF. i had a limit of 20, so those that i didn't invite, no offense yah... it was a group that i got to know better in the past few months though i met a few much earlier than others.

i was sharing that i believed in the younger ones because they carry on into the future of OCF. and giving an example of handy and i, about how close your 'family' in OCF can get.

so there's the 22nd birthday... may God bless everyone who has crossed my journey in life.

as the birthday's ending...
Sarah: Welcome to Olderism...
Bruce: the Carriage become Pumpkin already...
Danny: Birthday over... time to study .... (in a jokingly manner, he's caring)
Carter: but malaysian time still birthday leh....

Sunday, May 21, 2006

last hurdle...

it is a last hurdle for me. or more of a last wall to climb. the last semester and last few weeks as a student... yeah... all those thoughts come to mind. but got to put it away though. and concentrate on the current and present exams coming up.

i didn't post. don't really have time to sit down and type as i reflect. i more of reflect in the morning going to uni, or on the bed, just before i sleep.

i can't remember whether i've mentioned this before but this last six months have really been interesting in a way. its like a test to whether i have learned anything in my past 3 years of ups and downs. i don't say that i've 'passed' all but that i felt it smoother and find myself more conscious of what i am always doing.

have a tough subject. portfolio theory management. it seriously scares me. i know i read everything and maybe understood (not to the point of memorization). but when i look at the past sample papers, no understand man. it really bugs me. i mean, there must be a way. A WAY!!! its not only about my irritation towards things that i can't find out, but its also about doing well, passing or failing.


exam period for Adelaide Uni students are from the 17th June till 1st July.
Mine's on the 17th, 29th and 30th June.

Sunday, May 07, 2006

guilt and fears...

had been busy again...

read a book 'Finishing Strong' by Steve Farrar. it is a good book and i can relate to many things in the book. here's one of the stories about guilt and fears that struck me and serves as a good reminder to what and how we are bondaged in our hearts with past guilts and shame and also unnecessasry fears.

Circus elephants

when the elephants are just babies, the trainer puts a shackle around one of their legs, with a chain attached to a stake. these babies are maybe three to four hundred pounds at best, and they will try and try to get away from that chain. but they can't.

The strange thing is that the massive adult elephants - which may weigh a couple of tons - can be held by the very same shackle as the one used on the youngsters.

how is it possible? number one, elephants really do have great memories. but number two, they aren't all that bright. the adult elephant remembers how he was staked up as a baby and couldn't get away from the stake. and at a certain point, as a baby, he became convinced that he could never get away. so now as an adult, he doesn't even try. that elephant is not chained to the stake; he's chained to the idea that he can never get away. that's how a ten-pound stake can hold down a two-ton elephant.