Sunday, June 28, 2009

tough weekend...

had a tough weekend... but really thank God for bringing me through. i have to say that in hindsight, cause through the 3 days, it was moving too fast and i'm tired to even be thinking about God.

had a farewell dinner on thursday for a colleague who is leaving. then went to ron's house to collect his bbq pit which is HUGE. it fills the boot of a volvo and i had to take the base off. so, go figure...
after coming back from work on friday, scrubbed it for about an hour before going for parish meeting. couldn't go to gym, so this is my workout.

saturday morning had a wedding at 10am. it went well. hearing 'I will be Here' after a long long time brings back a lot of memories. later had music training. singaporeans from the Church of Our Saviour were invited to conduct a training. the exposure was good. unfortunately, had to leave halfway cause MYF bbq starts.

i started the fire well. was proud of the huge flames. but of course, not knowing that its the heat and temperature control that matters. so with some help of more experienced ones, the temperature was lowered and amber spread out and even.

learnt how to skewer the chicken wings also. besides holding mushy marinated chicken wings, it was actually quite stress relieving. i dunno why. perhaps poking steel into flesh gives some um... nice feeling? haha... but it was quite nice. manage to do it fast and smooth.

though there was nearly an accident. there was a wing that was being really stubborn. and i pushed the skewer in harder and yes! poked through... and also feeling the tip rub pass the webbed part of my 3rd and 4th finger. that was a very fortunate case. nearly crucified myself. was much more careful after that.
question: does piercing one palm makes me half a son of God?

sunday was church in the morning. form 4's and 5's had a talk about education and career path. music training continued in the afternoon and had to leave halfway again because had to play piano for the evening choir and organ for the evening service. i took some naps. was too tired.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

father's day...

yesterday was father's day. MYFers (uni age) were singing in the choir.

i have to say i was half-hearted and skeptical about it. we only have 10 people regularly coming. 10 person choir? in the end, about 15, but still... 15 person choir? and we're not trained singers... but if president say ok, then ok. manage to find a good song and the MYFers were pretty enthusiastic about it. so i count that good.

ah well, i just prayed and with vocal training by our music director and with practise, the choir dedicated the song well to the fathers. as always, God proves my skeptism wrong.

that sunday was one of the most draining as well. cause i'm playing for the choir to sing for 8am and 10am service. and 'lucky' me that my turn to play for 11.45 service was also on the same sunday.

and it is communion sunday. so, even longer services. i hear the same sermon 3 times about fathers... took communion once only lah... by the end of it, i was in a blurry state. making lots of mistakes during the 11.45 service. was musically-mentally-emotionally drained.

of course lots of jokes came along.. 'so you must be holier today' and 'you must be prepared to be a good father by now'....

Monday, June 22, 2009


elvin lum emailed me a link to a site last time in uni.

and when i watched the video, i never forgotten it. i did forget the site, but with a few searches i got it back again, and this time its also on youtube.

a very short clip, but delivers a powerful message. it is a reminder to us all.
especially to many of us who always ask (or scream in frustration) the all-too-familiar question:

"Where is God?"

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

left or right?

i am having a dilemma. i have to choose between the OCF 55th International Convention (held in Equatorial Melaka) and youth church camp. (i have a wedding clashing also but that's another story).

so, OCF convention or youth camp?

OCF convention was in my heart and mind since i left adelaide nearly 3 years ago. yes, 3 years ago. i was looking forward to the international convention 3 years into the future when i left adelaide. it is something that i was looking forward to and not miss for whatever reason. and as it approaches, details start coming.

my heart sank in some ways. the price is RM600. well, that's equatorial hotel for 5 days. its um.. quite a price. it is 25% of 1 month of my salary, and try imagining a student asking his parents for RM600 for 5 nights stay in a hotel. in melaka. RM600 is a larger bite of an amount for those working in malaysia as well.
and to me lah, there's other worthwhile causes that RM600 can be used for instead of a 5 night hotel stay.

and another heart sinking matter was because it clashes with the church youth camp. i am in the youth ministry and the camp is one of the effective areas of impacting lives. areas of music & games need to be tended to plus the important factor of spending time with the youths.

OCFers local and abroad are already asking who is going or not going. i had to say, maybe. but then, cannot simply delay also lah cause early registration helps the convention.

i'd really love to see the OCFers again. but i don't know whether any of my batch +- 4 years will be going or not. and i also question myself, why am i wanting to go? am i chasing back memories and just wanting to re-live some?
am i still trying to hold onto faded pictures and memories and wanting to re-colour them?

wasn't OCF's vision, 'Reach Out and Prepare, Build Up and Send Home'?
send home to your country that you may be a shining light in your family, church and workplace.
so in the case of church vs OCF, would church come first?

then again, i also question, is the case of me being a bit more reluctant now because of heart-hardening and increased skeptism after 3 years of working?
well, i'm not wanting to be giving those 'matured' excuses such as, 'i'm past OCF already. it is a kid's thing of the past. there are more 'matured' and important things now.'
or the 'change' excuses like, 'things have changed already when you start working.'

then again, nothing's wrong with taking a break to refresh from working & serving. feelings of guilt shouldn't be put upon someone if he can't serve.
hmmm... feelings of guilt also shouldn't be put upon those who can't make it for convention.

ah well... someone told me before i left, that memories of OCF were to serve as a good reminder of God's faithfulness during your uni days as we go through life. but it should not be something that we cling on to and not move forward...

so how?
maybe i'm just thinking too much. i won't die if i did not do the other.
i wonder whether i can go for both...

Friday, June 05, 2009


City Harvest - Singapore
I sing a love song to You Lord
Every day, every night
Tell of Your goodness and mercy
Tell the world how You rescued me
Picked me up, from sin and shame
Your breath gives me new life

Where can I go from Your presence
Under Your wings I take refuge
Your Spirit lives within my heart
I know, we’ll never be apart

Everyday, I draw closer to You Lord
I long to see Your face
And hide in Your embrace
All my life, dwelling in Your holy place
My heart O Lord You’ve changed
I’ll never be the same

Thursday, June 04, 2009

post - terrenganu...

went to Kuala Terrenganu. 14 of us in total so in an Avansa and a van. it is a 7 hour+ journey. and with a loaded van, its tough on the winding roads. i drove and of course it takes its toll on the drivers.

manage to take a boat ride to pulau redang (2 sides) for the 2nd day. enjoyed the snorkeling and the soft sand. very nice. got bbq'ed a bit but thanks to the girls for sharing some sunblock with the guys. guys never learn.

with a budget of RM150 each, we manage to do a lot. thanks to a friend who manage to get us 2 apartments at a discounted cost. of course the guys just rely on the sleeping bags lah and girls shared beds. the bulk of the cost went to the boat ride, costing about RM82 a person.

a few things that i take note of is that the people there are friendly and they talk to us (being complete strangers) and ask us where we are from, what type of trip is this, how old is the group, etc... the cost of food there is low and unique. because if they price it any higher, it is an outrage.

i really welcomed the break. it was a fun trip and its been some time since shearn, jon and i can go to a trip and do nothing at all, except carrying the luggages for the girls.
driving was in some ways calming for me (except the winding roads). i could use the time to think. i was wondering whether will God speak to me during this little trip. but none.. so.. okay..maybe not now.

overall the trip is good. the not so nice part is that 2 of the 3 days is traveling and so cutting in on the time to get to know each other better.