Sunday, May 31, 2009


will be at terengganu for 3 days. with the SSS.
need a break.

am so blessed that my manager allowed me for my block leave. well, i did finish my work. when i come back it'll be just in time for reporting and no time lost. God has been gracious and i have always been able to finish in time.

just transferred all my stuff into my laptop. got lots to organize cause i have stuff in 3 places and i need to consolidate it into one so that there's no repetition. pictures and music are the most important. uni stuff and readings resources are the next.

Saturday, May 30, 2009

church: consumerism vs community...

this is an issue very close to my heart because i see it happen all the time. and i deeply hope that we, as Christians, remember what is important; God's truths.
i remember reading this some time ago and was searching it again because i was going to teach about fellowship. glad i found it again.

The Corrosion of Consumerism
by Kevin Ford

The church had all the appearances of success. More than two thousand people gathered weekly for worship, the music was cutting edge, the landscape was perfectly maintained, everyone loved the pastor's sermons, and the children's programs were creative and engaging.

But the pastor suspected something was fundamentally wrong. He asked me to take a look at the church. I asked people who attended to give me their general perceptions of the church.

"I love it here." "Things are great." "It's the best church I have attended."

What specifically made the church so appealing?

"The music rocks!" "The dramas make me laugh and cry." "The pastor's sermons are so relevant to my needs." "My teenager plays the bass in the youth band." "My children meet in rooms with jungle creatures painted on the walls." "Everything here is always high quality."

I wondered aloud what would happen if the pastor left or the worship leader resigned or the children's ministry declined in quality. Not one of them batted an eye. Without hesitation, one after the other, the responses flowed: "I would leave." "I'll take my kids wherever I can find the best program."

The members of this church and many others like it were part of a dysfunctional human system. They were "consuming" the church's products without connecting to each other in meaningful relationships or engaging the local community with the transforming power of the Gospel. The "consuming" church springs from the soil of American culture. In contrast, the "transforming" church grows out of the transforming energy of God's creativity.

My consulting firm, TAG, recently conducted the Transforming Church Index national survey. Through it, we discovered five key indicators of church health. We labeled one of the five indicators "consumerism vs. community," and it has to do with how church members relate to each other. Unhealthy churches are a collection of people acting individually, while transforming churches relate as a community.

The quality of community is the quintessential test of the health of a church. Community begins to develop when individuals in the church experience deep, caring relationships; social connections; and a strong personal commitment to the church's mission. Unfortunately, few church leaders are skilled at developing an environment where meaningful and transforming relationships will occur. They desire community, but often don't know how to build it and fail to recognize the impact the American consumer culture has in the church.

By focusing primarily on meeting "market" needs, the church often functions in production mode—the endless creation of the best possible programs, products, and events. While such a search for excellence is, by itself, a positive—even biblical—pursuit, the machinery of endless production works against the development of community.

Consumerism is individualism on steroids. Central to consumerism is "me;" community is "we." "To consume" is the opposite of "to create." We are called to be a creative community.

It is a mistake to think that the church can adopt a consumer-oriented strategy, reach people, and then convert them into lovers of creative community. Too many churches succumb to this "bait and switch" type of strategy. In my work as a consultant, I have seen this strategy fail again and again. It has two inherent, fatal flaws. First, consumers resist change. You can lure them in, but a consumer-oriented strategy will fail to transform them. Second, the consumer is never satisfied. Rather than being transformed into a life of sacrifice and service, the consumer will demand more and more of others.

So how does a church move from creating consumers in the pews to transformed saints? Once this issue of consumerism has been framed and understood, we can apply practical steps to build community. Based on our research and experience, there are five essential building blocks for creating community:
1) Mentoring mission partners—are we fostering a shared sense of purpose in our church?
2) Inviting input—do we seek ideas from everyone?
3) Creating a structure for assimilation—do we have a way to bring people into the fold?
4) Developing small groups—have we created a way for deeper relationships to grow?
5) Building third place—do we have space in our facility for developing relationships outside of worship and Sunday school?

With God's help—and strategic planning—we can begin to move our churches from the American "me" to the biblical "we."

Kevin G. Ford is the chief visionary officer and managing partner of TAG, a management consulting firm specializing in churches. He can be reached at More information about the Transforming Church Index survey is available at This article is adapted from "Transforming Church" (Tyndale House Publishers, 2007). Used by permission.

Copyright © 2008 by the author or Christianity Today, Inc./Your Church magazine.

Thursday, May 28, 2009


In Our Humble Opinion
by Jon Walker

“And being found in appearance as a man, [Jesus] humbled himself and became obedient to death – even death on a cross!” (Philippians 2:8 NIV)

Humility is such a slippery slope. The more conscious you are of being humble, the less likely you are to remain humble. It’s like the old joke about the humble man who received an award for his ever-present humility. The problem was, once he stepped forward to receive the award, they had to take it away from him. Ha!

The thing is, most of us approach humility in one of two ways:

· The first approach is consciously acting as if we are humble. We create a false humility by trying to imitate what we think humility looks like.

· The second approach is to assume we’re not worthy, that we’re second class and permanently assigned to the back of the bus.

Neither of these approaches reflect authentic, biblical humility. The biblical approach to humility means you understand exactly who you are – but more importantly – you understand exactly whose you are, and that God has placed you where he wants you, for such a time as this. In this way, your humility is not attached to your self-esteem.

In other words, you don’t have to think less of yourself. Rather, you begin to think more of God, and you begin to agree that you are totally dependent upon God, and from this emerges a Christ-like humility. You’re no longer burdened by having to know all the answers or to be in control of everything.

It is God’s job to solve the problems of the world. Your job is to walk in humble obedience to what God tells you to do.

So what?

· Dependence requires humility – You will succeed in your purpose because of who God is, not because of who you are. God loves you and wants you to succeed. He will support you in your mission for him, not because you pretend toward perfection, but because he knows you can’t succeed without him.

· Humility leads to purpose – As you move toward dependence (a biblical humility) on God, he gives you his strength for any task before you and his strength to take the steps of faith required to complete your purpose. For such a time as this, God created you, prepared you, and called you to share the Good News.

· Christ-like humility – Look at the picture of humility Jesus presents in Philippians 2. Ask God to show you what needs to change in your life in order for you to fit into this picture of humility. Where is there false humility? Or where do you believe you are, in a sense, worthless, that you are not fearfully and wonderfully made by God? “Lord, I believe, help my unbelief.”

© 2007 Jon Walker. All rights reserved.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

23rd may...

i am now a quarter of a century. i've been disturbing anyone above me whom i know is turning 25. my turn now.
i have some friends whose maths aren't so good and wished me, 'happy quarter of a decade birthday'. so... well, not my fault that i laugh at them.

received many smses. on the 22nd and also when i woke up the next day. thank you for all the wishes through sms, msn, email, friendster, facebook. technology these days...
on saturday, went to colleagues house to plan a bit for the 'ji mui' thing of a 'pai zhau' of another colleague. it was an awfully hot day. later, we went to watch Night in the Museum 2. no worries, no spoilers. the movies good and reuses old stuff a bit only. amy adams was so adorable again. this time a lady with a strong character, but she's still 'enchanted' in my eyes. went for dinner later and a good time it was.

had a voicemail.. and i admit i don't usually listen to voicemail. i'll usually call the person back. but i thought this time... just listen lah. well, well, well. i thought i'd be able to escape the traditional special out-of-tune birthday song in small group, but nope, its delivered nicely to me on the hp. the happy birthday song at its WorsT. some more they left the recording for a long time and can hear them laughing and talking after they finish singing. and i did keep it.

called handy and shelley in adelaide. was wonderful to hear their voices again. one bright & cheerful, one slow & calm. that's how they complement each other. haha... catching up with them and yeah.. these are my friends... no.. brothers and sisters that i grew up with in uni. from 19? and now 25... 6 years. thank you so much for your family-ship, honesty, encouragement, forgiveness and transparency. the list will never end...

was suppose to go for church camp but leave was frozen due to work. so ok. was quite funny when susan called me to play for the services. its like all the musicians are at camp and she's scratching her head wondering who is 'left behind'. played organ for 10 a.m. and then clavi for 11.45 a.m. kenny taught a new song 'I Will Sing' from Hillsong Kids. i think its a beautiful song.

after church came home, rested a bit and went to the zoo. yes, the National Zoo with my colleagues. most of them are from outstation and so haven't been to the zoo. so all the way from pj and damansara which is far to the zoo and later dinner together. the zoo, unfortunately hasn't been maintained well. it did look great long time ago when they just refurbished. perhaps funds are just getting lower and lower. what more in these times...

Sunday, May 24, 2009

17th May...

played the clavi for theresa for 11.45 a.m. service. we practiced what we could on tuesday, the sycn'ing, the flow, the meaning etc... but everyone was tired.

well, i was fighting the feeling of just wanting the sunday to just pass. and i kept on reminding myself, let God lead.

and lead, God did. time and time again, God shows Himself and makes His presence known among us as we worship. we lift up our gifts and put it in His hands and "God, may it be worthy for You."

as we sang the bridge of 'I Adore' by hillsongs,
'Holy Holy, God Almighty,
and forever the Lord is exalted,
hear the angels shout His anthem,
Ever living God, we adore You'
... just couldn't stop... jon and i were looking at each other; 'how? play some more ah? how to stop? cannot stop leh? ok lah... theresa say go on.. let's go'.

Monday, May 18, 2009

Mother's Day: 10th May...

sunday schoolers slept over in preparation for mother's day. did a last practise (pretty much a final rehearsal) from 8pm -10pm before the next day. and a lot stayed. a 40-strong choir. the sleepover was fun and i'm sure it would help in the gelling within SSSers.

they were up early the next morning and knocking on my door to have access to the shower. i know they were groggy. i don't think they actually slept. haha... but the atmosphere was buzzing with anticipation and though the faces may not show it, the excitement is there. we were in the sanctuary at 7.20 a.m. i bet some have not been in the church this early before. haha... warm up the voices and do sound checking. they adjourned to the vestry before walking to the choir chairs.

the first point of contact was the SSSers who were greeters. giving the 'good mornings' and smiles to the congregation as they enter. they did it SSS style. 2 rows of people leading to the main entrance.

it was interesting to see the faces of the congregation as 40 red-dressed youths walk out and take their places at the choir area.

as much as it is preparations for mother's day, it is also worship to God. and this is a choir of youths dedicated to God. introit was a beautiful acapella. the anthem was the main dedication to the mothers. i emailed the SSSers earlier that our goal is to make the mothers cry. hee hee... evil... i dunno whether any did or not. to top it all, SSS distributors distributed gifts to the mothers from the church accompanied with 'happy mothers day'.

even the sermon was good. the speaker talked about the biblical women in the bible and their roles in the lives of others. big or small, they were women of faith. and as she gave the examples, it brings back memories of girls/women who have crossed my path and also to those now in time. we are so in shortage of such women in today's world. men included.

after both services, allan received very encouraging responses (and also of amazement) about the SSSers. Glory to God! i hope the song has touched many lives.

i was zonked out after it all. jon and i slept in the church office during 11.45 service. disclaimer: he was at one end of the table and i was at the other. i guess its alright, we've heard the sermon twice already and i'm going to hear it a 3rd time in 6pm service cause i'm the organist. so i don't want to hear it 4 times.

Saturday, May 16, 2009

what a saturday...

9th may...
1pm SSS band practise
3pm teach 'fellowship' in MYF
6pm friends wedding dinner at house
8pm SSS choir practise
10pm stayover at church

band practise was for worship for both 8 and 10 am services as the SSS band. manage to gel and coordinate and balance the sound and flow.

as MYF is doing the summary of the masterlife bible study, it was my turn to teach and about fellowship. tough one. i couldn't figure out how to wordify something which is abstract. there is no fix thing to identify fellowship cause it varies, from culture, environment, age, styles etc...

after small group, i decided i just got to get it done now even though i have a frame but couldn't word it down properly. followed the masterlife book and also the purpose driven life.

i couldn't say fellowship means something. its not as simple as A=B sort of description.
Acts 2:42-47 was the main frame of the my sharing on fellowship. touching areas of loving others whom we we say don't deserve our love, how we are built for relations, God working through others with reference to Eph 4:16, real fellowship has authenticity, mutuality, sympathy, mercy.

then about church (about consumerism vs. community culture). the church is like a hospital; where the sick can come and get healing (grace), and not being turned away or looked down (judged and condemned).

and later left with some question to discuss:
1) What’s the difference between fellowship and socializing?
2) Is one holier than the other?
3) Can a church be a social club?

Friday, May 15, 2009

dinner with ocfers...

5th may
Uni SA OCFers meet up a lot more compared to OCF adelaideans. why? i have no idea. it was a bit last minute but early enough. making my way to SS2 was new. i have no idea, so just drive with the map book loh. managed safely.. phew..

and met siew seen + chen, joel + chui leen, yvonne & stephanie. unfortunately a few others couldn't come. it is the peak period for a lot of industries at the moment.

joel and chui leen dropped by in KL for about 2 weeks. and its so funny hearing all of them catch up. we haven't been in contact for about 4 years? but after just warming up and realising everyone hasn't left behind the openness, cheerfulness, dramaness, lameness and faith.

and i noticed that each of them are somehow linked in some way; either by housemates or discipler-disciplee. but everyone was in OCF and they were my seniors; married and entering the baby stage. okay... learnt a lot.. haha...

went home with many thoughts... refreshed.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

wake service...

3rd may...

a few days earlier, got an sms from ronald that the mother of a SSS friend last time passed away after battling cancer for 9 years. he just came back and was keeping in contact with him through little smses. unfortunately we couldn't meet up due to different schedules and all that. together with chang hong, we went down on sunday night to the wake service. myfers were there too.

and its just weird that in the end, i meet up with him in the wake service. sigh... he, sister and younger brother. kevin is a young man in the grooming, doing what is needed as the eldest son of the family. will meet up with him later on.

also met a friend whom i didn't see for 15 years. the last time i saw her was 10 years old at a sunday school camp. saw her face and that's familiar. where.. more like when did i see her? hmm... could it be? a bit scared but i went and ask her anyway, and yup, a friend long time ago.

i remember pastor sivin said that he likes funerals because it is a time that we question is there more to life? what happens after death? is that the end? death and funerals help us keep our perspective in life to what really matters.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Jessica's wedding...

2nd may...
Jessica's wedding. was suppose to team up with ronald for a presentation but fortunately not needed to.

here is a sister whom i grew up with in sunday school and had many laughs. in many ways, we click from our passion for God, youths and music to the lame jokes. when i went to adelaide, she was already in OCF canberra and encouraged me to join OCF. with blips in my uni life, she was also available to help and guide me. many times she'd be going 'wake up, william! open your eyes!' until she could do no more and uphold me in prayer.

she even made a beautiful art card for me; reminding me that nothing separates me from the love of God. she told me that while she was making it, one of her friends teased her cause she wrote 'nothing can separate us from the love of God' and he was stressing the 'us' part dramatically, trying to follow the titanic voice over of 'nothing could keep their love apart'. well, i dunno who you are but i have to say that was funny.

it was in bangsar seafood village.. again... the same waiter served my table..again.. i recognise him (i think that's bad). jessica made nice bookmarks with her wedding pictures on it... so cool. they were really beautiful.

what touched me the most was when david and her were giving their speeches which of course was also about each other. i could totally identify with what they said. their speech is probably what i would say as well next time. the reason being what they spoke is just what an OCFer would speak and i totally knew and understood what they were speaking of and where they come from. the passion for God, the faith and trust, the gratefulness to God, parents and friends, the values, the selflessness, the mindset, their hearts, the journey, how they relate to each other and talk of each other. its just all too familiar.

really congratulations to them. a faithful couple. i read somewhere about God's maths: let's say 1 person can do 10. but when its 2 together, they can do 100. and i'm sure that's going to happen for them.

oh.. last point. if she wasn't dressed in her wedding gown, i would have walked past her trying to look for her. that's how different she looked. utterly beautiful.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

labour day...

i totally forgotten about labour day and yay! a holiday... 4 (working) day weeks are great...

knowing that a busy period lies ahead of us, we thought to have a trip and i was suggesting a one day trip sort of thing. e.g. drive up to genting to eat and walk about, or drive to ipoh for lunch and then come back or melaka... cause it'd be hard to go for the whole weekend because of schedules and money.

in the end, after much discussion, Kuala Selangor. 50km. went through sungai buloh and it was pretty fast. no jam except at one portion of the traffic lights. one of our colleagues stays at sekinchan so she and her darling could be our tour guides. 4 of us went in one car.

we went to the padi field. wow! all green and the same height and so wide and far...the buildings around were small and the sky was bright blue with clouds trickled on it. we actually went in to the borders and dirt road. parked our cars and pretty much spend about an hour or so posing and taking pictures till sunset.

one of my colleagues have a sharp eye for angles and poses (plus funny pictures) and he and i were laughing so much cause we were trying to take as much dramatic or model photos as we can.

we went to the kelip-kelip place but its labour day and yes, everyone's there. an hour wait! so we just skipped it and looked for dinner. but everyone's there too. 2 hour wait at one restaurant and another had no more food. haha... in the end we found a place and cooled down and enjoyed the food and at a good price too.

i have to say it was a good break. away from the city and everything. i can just not think about anything related to it and have fun and just enjoy standing out in the sun, in the breeze, looking around and enjoying it.

Monday, May 11, 2009


the roses on the 26th of may were beautiful. and coming from me who don't know much about flowers, it does mean something. haha...

it was deep, dark red. so pure... i'm more of a purists when it comes to roses; that i like and prefer and declare that roses should be in its original form of the deep, dark red. its like its so full of love and passion... something serious and pure. these roses were huge too.

i look at it (and stared for quite some time too) and i really marvel at God's creation. this is God's decoration and His decoration has life. He really is an artist.

which does bring a question to myself... when was the last time that i could press 'pause' or 'stop' in my life, to smell the roses?

Sunday, May 10, 2009

full day...

26th april...
and i thought nothing would beat one of the sundays i had last time. but i found the record breaker. this sunday.

8.00 a.m. Masterlife Bible Study
9.30 a.m. SSS worship practise
10.00 a.m. SSS starts
11.45 a.m. Service
1.00 p.m. Lunch with pastor and small group
4.00 p.m. Evening choir practise
6.00 p.m. Organist (& pianist) for evening service
7.30 p.m. Leave for relatives house
9.00 p.m. Home

i do question myself why am i doing this. it was in my schedule. i just so happens that everything fell on the same sunday. its usually split up. but urgency brought it all to one sunday. so, an interesting day.

the heart for youths and music in action is what happens here. i know people will say, that's too much, be careful of burn out. yes, i hear your advice. i'm careful of that too. i know it would be a tough day and i just pray to God to sustain me through this day of service.

some may say that i'm wasting my time. what's the point? no rewards or anything. well... don't ask me, ask God.

Saturday, May 09, 2009

parish meeting at my house...

24th april...
setapak parish meeting was held at my house. so couldn't go to small group and came back home quickly to set up the tables and everything else. was a little bit of pain missing SG but then i don't mind opening my house for the parish meeting. what i thought would be a draggy night actually brought many insights and a call.

a lot of the friends/youths that i grew up with aren't coming to parish meeting anymore. well, i understand when they don't see the point of coming anymore; especially when there is uni and struggle in faith. all grown up and we question ourselves, are we coming to parish meeting because we are following our parents or because we want to?

as the youths are growing up, so are the seniors growing older. it is becoming an aging parish. it was nice seeing the familiar uncles and aunties and also getting to know others better. and listening to the history that they have been through; their life.

a call.
a revaluation of the heart. a heart checkup.
the speaker was a nepali pastor. memories of OCF floods back into my mind about how aunty merrilyn would share about pastor manja and his prayer needs, about the people, about the pastors school, about her mission there. i've never been to nepal before though.

as he shared how he came to know God, his life and how God lead him to malaysia and then his journey here in malaysia, i was very touched and encouraged by his heart for people.

a call came to me. what am i doing now? and yes... WHAT am i doing NOW? the current snapshot at that point was terrible. possibly the busy-ness of churchwork was straining me and the heart that God groomed me through OCF was fading. immediately, i sent out a string of smses to the friends that i haven't heart of in a long time.

perhaps God would have it that i learn this lesson. it would be bitter because the father of a close friend of mine during school passed away in january. and i only know now in april. tell me, what kind of follower of Christ is this? a friend wouldn't even do that. i was very ashamed. there's more, but one story is more than enough.

i failed the very pinnacles of selflessness and following Christ which i believe and strive for. some smses were not so good news, but for some replies, i was fortunate and just in time. now whenever i'm approached for stuff, i think twice or maybe 10 times.

i learned in BB last time. J.O.Y. and in order of priority; Jesus, Others, You.

Friday, May 08, 2009

meet up with florence (missing hui chuan)...

22nd april...
florence was staying over at a friends place and i manage to have dinner with her. its hard to meet up cause she's in Serdang. i brought her to Kuan's cause its a nice, cosy and average price place. we tried to get hui chuan to come also but he couldn't make it. i think it was church prayer so okay...

catching up and just sharing about our lives. help, encouragement, advice, the worries, the cares, the burdens, a listening ear, wisdom, discussion, wondering about hui chuan.

it is really encouraging... the last time we met up was in mid-feb. it was weird how our paths cross. at the only I-bridge camp '06 that i went. we were all in the same group and just kept in contact then. i dunno how, but just clicked loh.

i just came back from uni and so ngam just saw ee ling's blog about GCF i-bridge camp. met lots of people. of course i can't keep in contact with all. and i just keep in consistent contact with florence and hui chuan. come to think of it, i dunno how we ended up just 3 of us meeting consistently. hmm... can't remember.

good friends are hard to find. wait.. i rephrase.. good brothers and sisters are hard to find.

Thursday, May 07, 2009

april 19...

Senior Sunday School (SSS) will be serving in the service on Mother's Day, that is, May 10.

Choir, Distributors, Greeters, Crafts Team. plans were written and of course after discussion and brain-storming, a more solid plan came out and with slight changes here and there as practices go. thank you so much to the teachers who are supporting me so much cause i'm assigned to head this project. Ronald helping the choir, Allan overall, Carol the crafts section (making wool bangles) and Robin in the distribution and greeters. all the other teachers join the various sections together with the youths.

many things could be confirmed fast except a few things. one of the major things was the anthem. it is one of the main things. what song should be sung? for mothers? could probably sing some common song or some secular song which is all normal. what is special? what is a real dedication? what is real effort for mothers?

headache. no joke. searched my library. searched the internet. searched among friends. searched as hard as i could, but just couldn't find. and you know how a pain it is on the internet. time was running out. and i decided to make an effort to write a song... more like rushing one.. just in case i can't find. a last resort. and i just kept on trying the internet as well. and just about 5 days before the first practise, i found the song. phew!

its a beautiful song. titled 'A Mother's Hands' by Ruth Elaine Schram.

A Mother's Hands.

A mother's eyes see her child as a treasure
And with its cry breathes a sigh of pure pleasure
A mother's hands wipe a salty tear away
Then lovingly prepare the meals for the day

A mother's eyes see potential and promise
The baby's life as an unpainted canvas
To fill with joy and with light
As she teaches wrong from right
Filling everyday with love

And we will rise up and call her blessed
We will rise up and call her blessed
She is the hand of God in the cold, dark world
And we honor her
And we honor her

A mother's "name" speak with wisdom and kindness
And say the prayers that become the ties that binds us
A mother's hands clean and dress the wounds that bleed
And selflessly she reaches out to all in need

A mother's eyes sees the good all around her
And trust the scriptures to guide and to ground her
She is more precious than jewels
In her life the Saviour rules
Filling everyday with love

Wednesday, May 06, 2009

11th - 12th april...

this weekend is the easter weekend. there is prayer vigil which starts on friday night till sunday easter morning. the small group chose a late saturday prayer shift (last year we did 1-3a.m.). i was sick and couldn't make it. but kim sent me the passage they were meditating on and i did it at home.

MYF does the easter cross flower decoration every year. about 8 of us went to the cheras cemetery to pluck jasmine flowers. the last time i heard, they climb the trees or pull down the branches as low as possible while others pick or they carry each other. thank goodness i brought the fruit cutter (the one with a string and a stick and a blade at the top to cut when the string is pulled). cause all the trees were tall and the nice flowers were up there.

it rained heavily. it was kind of demoralizing but after a while i just decided to come out and try and cut. yes, i was sick but i just stick under the umbrella. so it was kind of a little adventure. we collected a lot of flowers. four garbage bags. came back to church and we choose the best ones and stick pins in it and then on the sponge on the wooden cross.

it is something beautiful. white and with pink flowers in the middle.

Tuesday, May 05, 2009

8th-14th april..

was sick 2 weeks ago... and struggling to heal. drank lots of water and whatever else i could think of. but maybe not enough rest cause the dry throat keeps me coughing at night all the time. wake up at 3 a.m. every time just to drink some water but still cough. and sometimes cough till i vomit out the water i just drank.

and sigh, i fell sick again. started feeling cold on tues, today(8th apr) woke up with fever, cold and sore throat. i'm on antibiotics for the 2nd time. very bad. doctor couldn't believe it too. i was in a very bad mood. cause its not as though i didn't put effort into trying to heal and keep healthy. was quite discouraged.. and in pain.

and some more i'm busiest at work for the first half of every month. fortunately i finish my work as fast as possible and none of the reports were delayed. the next day(9th apr) had to take leave again cause just coughing nonstop and can't sleep. utterly drained and spirit was weak.

had no choice but go to work on friday(10th apr) cause things were due. really just suffered through that day. couldn't go to work on monday (13th) but on tues (14th) took half day in morn and had to go to work in the afternoon cause reports are due again. just persevered man...

Monday, May 04, 2009

4th april...

jon asked us whether i and a few others in small group can play/sing for an easter rally in BB cause there wasn't any before and also to minister to the Boys. so ok, can... manage to get allan to speak. he spoke about who Jesus is and what is easter.

i can't remember the figures but there were those who accepted Jesus, those who want to know more and those who recommitted their lives again. it is something new for BB and it was good that they were transparent and openly express their own decision.

it was something extra to do, but its worth it because this is about lives we're talking about. these are the youths; God's children. it also brings back memories for me when i was a BB Boy. taught me a lot about discipline and managing anger. there were some other not-so-good sides but that's another story. BB still played a significant part in my life. and as i see these young Boys, i can only pray for them that they grow to be Christian men in the future, loving God and impacting others around them.

at the end of it, we got BB smart-T. its a wow for me. totally didn't expect it. but told him, next time when we come, we'll wear the smart-T.

Sunday, May 03, 2009

28th march...

it was my turn to share in Methodist Youth Fellowship (MYF) and i decided to share about 'Finishing Strong'.
it did kept a few guessing what i was going to share. and by the title, they were pretty excited and having high expectations.. which kind of scared me. the title was from a book written by Steve Farrar. it impacted me a lot especially when i was going through my uni days...

and yes, i was sick earlier and very weak. the fever, diarrhea and vomiting resulted in me losing my voice. i could barely speak. and i was praying hard, Lord please heal me cause i'm going to share and if it was something you had impressed upon me to share, then heal me. i smsed others to pray for healing too.

i prepared a lot for this sharing about Finishing Strong because it is something that means a lot to me. about perseverance, about getting up, about faith and trust in God, about teachability, humility. after preparation, i sent it out for checking by my seniors to make sure that its sound teaching and sharing. then edit a few more times.

well... i just trust God lah.. and who knows God will heal me at 2.59pm just before MYF starts. so i waited.. but i was not healed. still voiceless and in pain. well, gave up loh(yes.. the irony). my president took over a while... but of course unprepared. in the end, i decided just share lah.

important thing learnt.
the sharing went well, but not on my voice. i have to say that besides the preparation, i was also practising the way i will be speaking.

Friday, May 01, 2009

26th march...

went to Yaki-Yaki buffet with colleagues on tuesday (24th March). it was a 50% discount thing. in bukit bintang. they have live coals there for you to bbq the meat and others. and there's lots of different sauces.

i didn't really go for much meat cause its a japanese buffet. so the sushi is the main thing right? well... i have to say it is quite fair. they don't hide the good/expensive stuff like some places do. the salmon and everything else were flowing non stop. they has some little gourmet stuff too. dunno what it was but it tasted good.

it was a long time since i ate anything that rich. i keep my expenses low and i usually settle for bread, simple lunch or ... don't eat at all. so eat a lot loh. maybe a bit too much cause this is where i fell sick terribly.

i was already feeling weak and cold at the end of the working day on tuesday before going to eat. the next morning, i was feeling cold and weak... fever, cold, dizzy... had to MC. saw the doctor and went on antibiotics.

then on weds night (thurs early morn), started to have diarrhea. pain and no sleep at all. had to MC and see the doctor again who gave me medicine for diarrhea. suffer and struggle. about 11a.m. had to just close my eyes and lie down... then suddenly felt like vomitting. and vomit i did. a huge atomic bomb. and after that felt better...

i still have no idea what made me fell sick. was it because i was weak and cold in office? or the buffet? but then i only had diarrhea and vomitting 2 days later. if it was the buffet, it should happen on the first day. oh well...