Sunday, October 29, 2006

what internet...

my internet is going up and down like waves. its a sucky thing...
that explains why i don't post that often. for now.... haha

anyway, worked on thurs and fri. i really thought sat was wednesday cause it was hari raya holidays on mon-weds.

in church, i was talking to jessica and i realised... hmmm... i have always been talking about praying and not making rash decisions and just jump into any ministry. i do pray about it and all, but i thought again... okay... i got to draw a deadline now and decide. i hope i wasn't taking it too lightly and that it didn't slip my mind.

i am starting to 'see' where does God want me to be and even more, WHY he twist my life and point me back home in the first place.
i always ask, 'God, what are you doing? can you please tell me?' (must be polite mah...)
yet again, i'm trying to pray harder for more signs/confirmations. i'm quite hard to be convinced. but more of wanting to be sure that God wants me to go there...
ah well, the struggles we have...

there's a video compiled about the GCF camp 2006 made by david ting.

P.S. i got to sing that song man.. i still don't know whose my GA.
(sung to the tune of, 'Don't they know its the end of the world?')
Why doesn't my G.A. like me?
Why doesn't he care at all?
Don't he know i exist in this camp?
The camp is going to end soon....

and someone asked me on the last lunch, 'no GA ah? then how?'
well, i don't mind... but i replied, 'oh.. its okay.. with all the angels around me, its good enough.' hahahahaha....

Wednesday, October 25, 2006


was too tired to type yesterday. i already came back tired, and then had a flat tire to change for the 3rd time in one month... its the same stupid tire. who says i don't get any exercise? haha... anyway...

i came back from camp yesterday. i had that sad miserable feeling after camp and i was quite frustrated at myself. waliau.. moody again...i feel quite stupid to be feeling like that.
then i realised why. the camp gave me such a familiar feeling that i miss so much.
it reminded me so much of the Overseas Christian Fellowship that i miss. just the 'O' cut the side a bit, twist twist, and becomes a 'G'.

G.C.F. = Graduates Christian Fellowship
not FES that organised the camp. that shows how much i knew before going for the camp. haha... the Christian Fellowship in the local uni's are taken care by FES. and after uni, the transition period and working life, that's where GCF comes in.

GCF Vision = to build a community of servant-leaders committed to transforming society for Christ.

GCF Mission = we are committed to the challenge of equipping Christians to become servant leaders.

GCF Context = While recognizing the central place of the local church, our primary concern is for Christians in the marketplace where faith and life intersect.


I-Bridge is a ministry of GCF. founded in 2001 with the aim of catering to the needs of young graduates in malaysia (and i'm sure overseas) and to encourage and challenge one another to follow Jesus in the real world. (okay... i got this out of the camp booklet)

the camp i attended is I-Bridge. about 105 people. all from uni's all over malaysia. a few ocfers are there also that went for convention 2003. 2003! (we were all there, but of course the camp was so big.) i am the youngest. try that... so my roommates said that i'm the baby of the camp. haha...
and i met yew kong again... after 6 years since School Christian Fellowship (SCF) in 2000 in my school, MBS KL. i was so surprised to see him there. get to meet up and know ee ling again. and in the same group as melanie who is joel's (my best friend) cousin.

i miss the brothers and sisters that i met there. even though they are much older than me ( heh heh ) they are really young at heart, still active and running around (i'm sure their body aching now) + lots of wisdom and maturity. i learnt so much from them. its like so high, another level. i'm really touched by their care and their dedicated-ness. and i got so much to learn too...

the camp was about being a minister in the marketplace. i think its enough to say, reflect on the words, 'Minister/Pastor in the Marketplace'.
that's us. called to the marketplace.
the planting of the seeds are done by us in our lifestyle and behaviour in the marketplace. the harvest is probably done by others.

under I-Bridge, they have bible studies for the just-started working people, called Headstart. in the transitional period. what it is to being a Christian in the working world. its once a month (we're working people) for a year. and after that, its optional for the group to stick together for other stuff.

another is the internet=
take a look... an internet ministry... its great...

another is Face2Face. gatherings to bring GCFers together. waterfall trips, worship sessions, annual camps. Prayer is an essential part of every gathering because spiritual friendship are formed when we are praying for one another. (again, out of the camp booklet)


this is the ministry that OCF returnees need (of course must still go to church lah). the transition period is a sensitive one. all ocfers/students who comes back, should go. its good if you have a church and can settle down. however, not all churches are giving enough support. this is a support group here. and for those who don't have a church, there's so many to choose from the GCFers here.

this is where GCF, a para-church ministry (like OCF) comes in.

Saturday, October 21, 2006

camp camp...

my office started to slack off because of the holiday mood coming. but then again, didn't because of the many datelines and presentations coming up immediately after the Hari Raya holidays. so we were kind of stressed... oh well, work is work.

shifted to a new floor and settling down. clean up and all. the only problem is that the guys toilet is just nearby and it badly stinks. the ventilation isn't that good and so the smells leak out onto whoever's the closest. but no one escapes it either cause our only walkway to the office is past the toilet door. so the fumes are collected in that walkway.

holidays are mon-weds. so i'm off to a camp. from sunday till wednesday (obviously no posts till then). i have no idea what i got myself into. but i just do weird weird things. i saw it on ee ling's blog and thought, why not? i was past the closing date and i called her about it and it was still opened.

i hope i got this right. the camp is organised by the Christian fellowship of the local uni's in malaysia. the organization is called FES (don't know what it stands for) and this is like a uni-leavers camp. 2 categories of working: Less than 3 years and More than 3 years.

saw a few topics about adjusting to life in the working place, being a Christian in the working world, and can't remember the rest. i thought , yay! i can learn more. wanna learn more. then i can compile more materials for returnee's purposes. i'll get to know the people who have been serving here locally in their Uni CF.

what came to my mind as the most important was that OCF returnees can go for this camp. just as we had a 'family' in australia, so we also have a 'family' in malaysia. and we just have to get to know our 'family'. who else knows better to settle down locally than them? maybe something more can be done to take care of OCF returnees... i dunno. we'll see...

i was also thinking, these are our Christian cousins. you know, similar to OCF but just not over the seas.

Thursday, October 19, 2006

what measurement?

there are many times that it comes to my mind when people compare. how much are you serving? how much are you earning? how much bible study are you doing? how high a level have you reached? wah.. this person is so keng. he can do this. he can do so many things. he is serving in so many areas. he has so much acheivements. he is earning this much. his prospects are so good. he has climb these heights. he is serving in so many ministries.

money and acheivements are so commonly used as a measuring denominator for people/individuals that we even speak it without realising that we are actually stressing upon material stuff. how much is this guy worth? $15 million networth... etc...
now this is not to condemn people working hard and making money. God rewards the man according to the work of his arm. but then again, is that the measurement?
in my thoughts, i am stopped by the article on my church bulletin last sunday. and i truly pray that God hold me in my insecurities when people make measurements and comparisons.

i don't want to be compared to others. i don't want to be made a point of measurement either (and have people trying to pull me down or just waiting for me to fall). i want to be able to live for God. of course, making sure i'm doing my best with what's given. and knowing whether i have $1 or $1 000 000, it does not make a difference if i have been serving God and living for Him. its a weird thing how our own Christian brothers and sisters look down on those who have sacrificed to serve. (even christian brothers and sisters look down on each other. but that's a different topic about humility)

His Work Will Be Shown For What It Is
1 Corinthians 3:10-15

True servants of God aren't motivated by adulation or a large following. they honestly want to build Christ's church. and they build on the one true foundation, Jesus Christ. they keep the focus of their followers on Jesus, not on themselves. not even on their vision of a Christian Disneyland, or of the largest church building in the U.S., or of the biggest radio or TV following.

Paul knew that his accomplishments would be evaluated one day on just this basis. was he working to promote Jesus or himself? when Judgement Day comes, the "quality of each man's work" will be revealed (v.13).

knowing this, what do we care how other people evaluate our service for Jesus? what do we care even for "success", or the praise of others? the only true success is in serving Jesus and His people well. the only reward we seek is Christ's, when our service for Him is judged at the last day (v.13).

From The 365 Day Devitional Commentary by Lawrence O.Richards

Friday, October 13, 2006

my workplace...

a snapshot of my workplace with my boss sitting at the back. he got quite a surprise but he allowed lah... i said he was looking quite hardworking so its a good photo. haha... my boss is hardworking and very sporting also.

the place is a temporary place. we'll be shifting next week to our proper place which has been renovated. going to be an open concept office and now we got to make sure we behave even better. haha...

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Wednesday, October 11, 2006

my latest working photo

hey everybody, this is my latest working photo taken today.
yeah.. i wear like this everyday... i am thankful that there is no need for a coat.
and the short hair.. okay.. my mother's idea... and when i recut it, the barber cut it back the same way. waliau... i only said cut the sides.
but she cut and i couldn't see what she was doing cause i had to take my glasses off.
oh well...

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pastor's message....

in a sermon by my pastor a few weeks ago,

"it's not about 'oh, the pastor's message was good. it was delivered well and with so much enthusiasm.'

it's about 'what did God speak to you? what is God trying to tell or teach you?' "

Monday, October 09, 2006


about 2-3 weeks back, i was reading a book when the thought came to my head about being underused.

one of the things that i would be worried about is that i am underused. one is because i am not being used and am doing nothing with my time. and another, i would then not be using God's gifts that was given to me.

and i know from the bible, that when you're not using the gift that God gave you, God will take it away (the Parable of the Talents). i am afraid that God does that. and so i take big big precautions that i do not use the gifts OR mis-use the gifts for my own ego.

God is a generous God and a loving Father.
what saddens Him is if you don't use what He has given you. no matter how small or how big, God looks at our attitudes with what He has given.

if its small, we still use it to the max. we are to be responsible with it. every good gift comes from God. also, this is where the commandment, do not covet comes in. it's not just about envying your neighbours possessions, but also your neighbour's spiritual gifts and talents.
if its big, we have greater responsibilities with it. the demands are of God are higher. it is saddening to see people mis-use their gifts and talents. it is also saddening to see people not use the big talents they have.

in the end, we can only encourage and advise. we are not to judge each other. who is to judge whether one is using the gifts/talents that they have to the fullest? this is not an excuse to not do anything lah... the matter of judging is for God to do. that is between each of us and God. we are answerable to God.

Sunday, October 08, 2006

God With Us...

while teaching yoshimi about some examples of speaking during worship, one of the examples i went back to was the album God With Us by Don Moen.

and while listening to it again after a long time, firstly i was touched again. and it brought back memories... a familiar feeling.
that musical was performed in church when i was 13. and i remember how amazed i was. and as i watched, i was touched and so the seed of the worship and music ministry was planted.

that's where it all started.

to able to come to where i am, its God's gift. i can only hope that i have used it wisely and to the best and not for my own gain.
i wish i can go further with whatever preparation i can do but that's for God to put me.
will continue working on stuff...
wedding songs, anyone? hahaha...

Friday, October 06, 2006

after one week...

well well... this is 5 days of work. this weekend is only my 8th weekend. its only 2 months! it felt so long. perhaps with my packed schedule and keeping myself busy.

today the Putra LRT stopped working. so, its chaos for everyone. i remind myself to just relax, and get going. i still had the car to drive to the STAR line to get to work. that's good news.

so after one week, can feel the strain on the body. got to get use to the cycle and lifestyle. now i get to practise my piano everyday. what a blessing. getting my hand muscles toned again. hahahaha... get to spend more time for the other instruments also. can't wait to get a guitar. but first month's salary go to God so it'll take longer before i can get a guitar.

i do realise also that i've been attacked more frequently in the mind lately. i've been getting quite a number of tests too. i struggle. i quickly shout out, 'God! please protect my mind and my heart! please protect my mind and heart! please!' i repeated many times.
i made sure i turn back to God. don't want to make the same mistake of running away on my own thinking that i am so great to handle it.

i'm called laksamana or admiral in office now. since long time ago, i see this joke never ends. who can resist not mentioning it the moment they hear my name? hahaha...

Thursday, October 05, 2006


i remember to pray about being faithful and obedient to God. and prayed for jobs.

but i forgot to pray for which ministry to be in. aiyah...

i was exploring the various ministries. there's so many things i could choose to do. i so wanna do all of them also. haha... but that's not how the body of Christ works. its not a one-man show.

God made each of us for a purpose.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006


well, started on monday (yesterday). i start at 8.45 a.m. but i was an hour early much to the surprise of my colleagues. they must be going, wah... this feller so semangat. i was actually wanting to miss the LRT jam. i finish at 5.45 p.m. but stayed to work till 6.30 p.m. to miss the LRT jam again.

its been good. trying to learn a software as fast as i can. my boss is nice. my colleagues are too. they even msn each other at night. okay... maybe this is my first 2 days. been observing. trying to catch as many clues as possible. oh yeah, one more thing. there are so many girls (no, i'm not looking). equally sporting and will be interogating me for the whole week.

okay... i'd really love to share more but i may get into trouble if i unknowingly post stuff which may be sensitive to others.

at the moment, i'm falling sick. just got a fever. i think i worked myself a bit too hard + the cold + lack of water. trying to do my best.

Monday, October 02, 2006

Florida Baptist Convention 2006....

on thursday and friday, i attended a course about worship leading. i just applied and went for it myself. not really knowing what i was doing except that the group that was coming was from florida.

and God just amazes me.
the 200 member choir spent a week in sydney and dropped by malaysia. of the 200, 85 were teaching the courses in their respective expertise. they come from the baptist churches all over florida. most of the teachers come with 25+ years of experience in the music ministry. they're worship pastors or the music director of their churches. they each have formal training in an instrument and most are trained singers. they're professionals.

during one of the courses about Worship Planning, the teacher asked, 'how many of you here have an orchestra in the church?'
we were looking at each other and going, 'huh?'
in another class, the teacher said, 'he comes from a church whose choir is quite big. about 500-600.' what the? that's HUGE.
another displayed multimedias of high creativity and quality.
there were lots more of course.

they really shared their experiences. of course its not possible to teach all in just 2 days. but they gave all they could. there were the mega churches of 10,000 and also the churches of 200-300. they shared with me their preparations in terms of practising and also for the travelling.

i got to meet and take a picture with Camp Kirkland. i didn't know he was there. he's one of the pioneers of instrumental Christian music. he has worked together with Integrity Music a lot. most of the musicals that you have watched or orchestral arrangements for christian music are done by him. i grew up reading his name on most of the musicals that i was involved in or while doing some personal research.

well, the classes are full on. i got to mix around with the teachers as well. and they're people with the heart for God. the heart for the music ministry in Asia as well.

friday night, the florida baptist convention presented a musical and worshipped. after praise and worship, the musical started. and quite a number of times i was close to tears. i was just so amazed and in wonder. imagine, a 170+ choir singing together, both mightily and gently, with a 20+ orchestra playing alongside. how similar is that to heaven? it is only just a touch. we read in the bible about multitudes worshipping God. when you hear the choir and the orchestra, you see these people just giving to God. so majestic, so inspirational, so organized, so controlled and precise. that is really true quality and standards.

my father asked me where i stand among them... uh... i'm nowhere anywhere. there's so much more to learn. i'm only touching the surface. i hear of these things overseas but never had the chance to learn. but now i learn and i see.