one of my colleagues grandmother passed away today. an internal email was sent informing us that the department is collecting a fund for him and to deposit into his account.
earlier on, i had forgotten to do some work on a report and the check on the report was closed last week. i remembered today, when my manager asked me. you can say all my blood went to my feet. if my data comparison had differences i'm in deep trouble. one of my colleagues had to endure a shouting match last week. so i was very worried and it bothered me a lot.
when the envelope for my colleague was passed to me, i put in a sum, and also my 5 cent and 1 cent coins, and also thinking that they should be able to deposit it at the counter. how insensitive of me. i wasn't thinking at all.
and later i heard one of my colleagues exclaimed loudly, 'who gave coins?' i was wearing both my earphones and i could still hear it. they saw the coins and they were using the machine to deposit the money.
i was going, oh crap, i'm in trouble. so i decided, finish my work first.
fortunately for me, everything in my report passed. but through the work, my mind was worried and wondering what in the world is going to happen. embaressing, yes, i'm ok with it, but i was more bothered that this is the Christian witness i am giving to my non-Christian colleagues. in other words, my whole department. my spirits were very down.
the coins were later returned and passed around in the envelope and whoever gave it, to claim it. it was a very uncomfortable feeling taking back the 'stained' money.
i was contemplating what to do. just ignore the issue and let it pass? or to bring it upfront? i was scared and in effect, ate lots of chewing gum. ate about 5 in a span of a 2 hours. if i let it pass, it could grow into gossip. if i go tell the person who collected it, it could explode and also grow in gossip. but then, to kill gossip, is to tell the truth. but i'm scared. well, if it happens, thats the effects of the mistake. accept it. and it went on and on, wondering, what should the Christian witness do? go, don't go, go, don't go, go, don't go, go, don't go, go, don't go, go, don't go,........
in the end, ok. be true. be firm in spirit. do what's right. be strong. accept it. honour God. (i also went, God please help me through it). and i approached my colleague. she went, 'oh, so its you ah...'. i apologised, that it was very insensitive of me and it was a bad mistake and wasn't thinking and was bothered earlier. and she said, 'it's okay. small matter. it has been deposited already'.
as i sat down my comp, i was still worried. and my colleague net send me telling me not to worry about it, that it's ok, that everyone learns and that i didn't know about no coins. she also said that she admired my courage to approach her face to face and be truthful about it. she told me not to think too much and shared her experience before where in her previous job, she handed her donation in an angpow. so she totally understood.
now, what can i say? everything remained good? nope. it became better. God is... God is...wonderful to teach me that and waliauleh, need to surprise and test me like that ah? my heart can take a rest now. most importantly, i know i honoured God.
*breathes a super huge sigh of relief*
earlier on, i had forgotten to do some work on a report and the check on the report was closed last week. i remembered today, when my manager asked me. you can say all my blood went to my feet. if my data comparison had differences i'm in deep trouble. one of my colleagues had to endure a shouting match last week. so i was very worried and it bothered me a lot.
when the envelope for my colleague was passed to me, i put in a sum, and also my 5 cent and 1 cent coins, and also thinking that they should be able to deposit it at the counter. how insensitive of me. i wasn't thinking at all.
and later i heard one of my colleagues exclaimed loudly, 'who gave coins?' i was wearing both my earphones and i could still hear it. they saw the coins and they were using the machine to deposit the money.
i was going, oh crap, i'm in trouble. so i decided, finish my work first.
fortunately for me, everything in my report passed. but through the work, my mind was worried and wondering what in the world is going to happen. embaressing, yes, i'm ok with it, but i was more bothered that this is the Christian witness i am giving to my non-Christian colleagues. in other words, my whole department. my spirits were very down.
the coins were later returned and passed around in the envelope and whoever gave it, to claim it. it was a very uncomfortable feeling taking back the 'stained' money.
i was contemplating what to do. just ignore the issue and let it pass? or to bring it upfront? i was scared and in effect, ate lots of chewing gum. ate about 5 in a span of a 2 hours. if i let it pass, it could grow into gossip. if i go tell the person who collected it, it could explode and also grow in gossip. but then, to kill gossip, is to tell the truth. but i'm scared. well, if it happens, thats the effects of the mistake. accept it. and it went on and on, wondering, what should the Christian witness do? go, don't go, go, don't go, go, don't go, go, don't go, go, don't go, go, don't go,........
in the end, ok. be true. be firm in spirit. do what's right. be strong. accept it. honour God. (i also went, God please help me through it). and i approached my colleague. she went, 'oh, so its you ah...'. i apologised, that it was very insensitive of me and it was a bad mistake and wasn't thinking and was bothered earlier. and she said, 'it's okay. small matter. it has been deposited already'.
as i sat down my comp, i was still worried. and my colleague net send me telling me not to worry about it, that it's ok, that everyone learns and that i didn't know about no coins. she also said that she admired my courage to approach her face to face and be truthful about it. she told me not to think too much and shared her experience before where in her previous job, she handed her donation in an angpow. so she totally understood.
now, what can i say? everything remained good? nope. it became better. God is... God is...wonderful to teach me that and waliauleh, need to surprise and test me like that ah? my heart can take a rest now. most importantly, i know i honoured God.
*breathes a super huge sigh of relief*
2 comments:
haha bill...small matter, but brave of you :) thanks for sharing.
Shant write a blog here. Just a one-liner. "Honesty, always the BEST policy." :D
Post a Comment