my thoughts runs back to adelaide many times. and many times also, i remember the advises about holding on and letting go. 'to move on, you got to let go.' quoted from joanne kiu.
in boys brigade, i love obstacle courses and there is a particular obstacle where you got to pull yourself up with the rope. try to picture this.
hanging on to a rope with one hand, is tough enough. it uses a lot of strength. but be thankful that the rope is big.
if it was a string that i was holding on to with one hand, doing that uses a lot of strength and furthermore, because it is a thin string, it would cut through my hand and cause pain as well.
when letting go, i got to let go of all of it.
if i hold on, and its a large amount(a rope), it uses a lot of strength on the heart and mind. it is bad enough.
and if its little(a string), its worse cause it uses a lot of strength and it causes pain as well. here, its worse.
everything. not a single bit left.
but there are some things that are very hard to let go. not that i can't let go, its just hard. though i made sure i let go before i left, i may have held a little bit. at times later, it comes back up, knowing that i didn't let go but had that small thread that cuts. its 'some' things.
its a sickening feeling.
many times i wonder did i do enough, or did i fall short of possible standards?
and when i hear of things in adelaide, i go, 'crap! i could have done something or i could have done that. why am i back here?'
how true what ray advised.
'leave your regrets and burdens in adelaide. have a fresh start. take only the things you've learnt and memories.'
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