Sunday, February 24, 2008

what comes after frankness?

i was sitting down a yesterday trying to post. but i was stumped. what do i write after i've been frank?

1) thank you.
- thank you to Edward, G and Derek who've written down encouragements and prayers. for Yvonne who called me up. as of today, i feel much better. my eyes were more open these past few days. i could see glimpses of God's hand a bit here and there.

2) clarify.
- my words may be harsh, or some may deem exaggerated, but they are true. and its not just the working world, but also church (any surprises?). that's why it can be more hurtful. that's why loving and forgiving each other is even harder. but i still have good brothers and sisters who care.

3) apologies.
- apologies if anyone got depressed or affected or um... traumatised? (you'll never know). i have no attempts to scare anyone. or perhaps i should have a warning clause: 'Read at your own risk. depressive stuff coming'.
but hey, i'm being frank.

4) more frankness.
- perhaps disappointments and pointless-ness in energy and efforts have pulled me down. i have the faithfulness and efforts which seem small against the trials banging on me.
i know i tried. and a lot of things happened; good and bad. but the million dollar question now is, what am i going to do about it?
well, i'll just have to get up again. take the steps one by one again. its not over. its only the start of life as working and studying and church.

5) my health.
- i was so dizzy at work on friday morning. i collapsed on friday at work. when i saw it was 12, i just KO'ed on my table. my colleagues bought me lunch. very nice of them. i ate, but i felt even worse. now, i am dizzy and i feel like puking any time. talk about humour, i found that funny.
during the weekday, i was in the middle of being sick and healing, but still push hard to work and study, and well, shouldn't have done that. so i slept and rested in this weekend, but am still dizzy. went to see the doctor again for the 3rd time in 11 days, so got some medicine.

6) the future.
- let's see what happens... :)

7) thank you. (not typo)
- thank you again, Edward, G, Derek (who i do not know) and Yvonne.
(what's your blog Derek?)

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