choices...

1st week march.
one of the tough choices i had to make; people or music?
these 2 have always been in my heart. but when these 2 things clash, which comes first?

there was an outing with Senior Sunday Schoolers(SSS) (13-17) to bowl at midvalley. spending time with the youths and getting to know them better. plus providing transport.
and a call for emergency replacement to play during the church service.

well, i said no. but with so much begging (which i don't enjoy at all and not wanting to prolong torture on my friends) i had to do the tough bit. make the necessary calls and confirm and ensure there's enough transport. fortunately there's enough. pulling out after saying that i can help is a definite ultimate bad thing. = bad mood.
really praying to God that i lay all of it down at His feet.

2nd time again. i was attending a choir training and so they needed a keyboardist for practice. so okay, can but only for practice. then sooner or later, it was becoming that i play for the choir for the services (had to miss SSS again). then became all services (now miss bible study). i know people ask, why never say no?
i did. but again, the call of not enough pianists and the person who will replace me or be playing, did not even know the songs or attend any practices. how can i let that happen...

of course, bad mood again. pray again loh. apologized to the head teacher cause had to miss SSS.

a very grey area i'm struggling with.
if i don't play, am i at fault for not using the gifts God gave me? am i guilty of not helping those that are in need?
but if i play, am i guilty of neglecting the youths as they see their teacher always disappearing, as though not caring? am i also guilty of again, not using God's gifts?