getting it...

well, i got a job. i got the job i applied to.
with my not so good grades, i just apply.
i sat through the interview. and with questions, they attack. quite fierce at times.
i don't deny that at the final interviews, i just feel that i'm not good enough. i know i can say i am/was confident in God. but after the final interviews pass, thoughts just come into my mind. who am i kidding? if i'm in the interviewers position, i would have weeded myself out long time ago.

i can 'see' God. How else could i have gotten the job? fluke?
of course we have to put our effort in also and prepare and all that. but even after all that, that 'special' touch is needed.

i was thinking also, if i had super good grades, i may just sit through all the interviews and when i get the job, oh its because of the grades. it'll surely come. i'll become cocky and get just pass off 'getting the job' as some event. (i'm sure God knows)

but now, i humbly say again and again, it's God's grace, faithfulness and blessings.

Find us Faithful...

now with each day preparing for work, lots of emotions lah. its twisting my mind. i could still hold on when i had nothing to do. but now with work going to start, i know i have to finally let go to move on. if not, low performance in work and get fired lah.

tidying up my room, packing up the belongings in adelaide. okay... its one month plus... but i was 3 weeks in singapore plus i procrastinated as well. it was hard to pack and close it away. i didn't want to. i want my adelaide stuff lying everywhere around me. i try lah, but my mother will, of course... k_ll me.

the times in OCF... hmm... how do i say this? will always be in my heart. my journey in uni where God showed Himself more, through the highest and the lowest times.

some time earlier in the middle of sem 1 '06, i came across this song that i had in my comp, Find Us Faithful. an old song BUT it was pretty inspiring. it reminded me a lot of OCF. i remember when i just joined. and learning about ownership. listening to stories of the past OCFers and what they've done. and bleeding and sweating for OCF. being broken down. being moulded. holding each other by a thread to run on. building the foundation with joanne, gillian and richard to prepare for EXCO. richard always says, let it echo into eternity.
and people come and go. that's the cycle of OCF.

i would not say i was always at my best. i always wonder whether i was faithful to God and did i do enough in my capacity then? i hope i didn't miss out anything He wanted to teach me.

in my insecurities, questions and regrets, i hear God whispers quietly, 'My timing is perfect. whether you have done enough or not in human terms, I have planned that and am in total control. I see. not humans see. in what you did and did not do, I am doing the final measure.'

Find Us Faithful
by Steve Green

v1
We're pilgrims on the journey
Of the narrow road
And those who've gone before us line the way
Cheering on the faithful, encouraging the weary
Their lives a stirring testament to God's sustaining grace

v2
Surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses
Let us run the race not only for the prize
But as those who've gone before us
Let us leave to those behind us
The heritage of faithfulness
Passed on through godly lives

chorus:
Oh may all who come behind us find us faithful
May the fire of our devotion light their way
May the footprints that we leave
Lead them to believe
And the lives we live inspire them to obey
Oh may all who come behind us find us faithful

v3
After all our hopes and dreams have come and gone
And our children sift through all we've left behind
May the clues that they discover
And the memories they uncover
Become the light that leads them
To the road we each must find

preparing the way...

i have to say that as i was readapting and seaching around for jobs, enquiring here and there, a lot of new stuff comes out. learning about procedures, what's this agency, what's this type of jobs that sounds so good but means something else (haha), learning how much time does a working person has in malaysia and what is a typical week like.

and i got much help from the OCFers who are already back here in malaysia. and i was thinking, imagine if they didn't go back. God put them back for a reason. and i saw many ways and just how wonderful God works. God brought them back for His personal growing of them, and also much later, for those that are going to come back: me.

they have went through their ways and in a way, are preparing the way for others who will be coming back. its never the end.

just as they have prepared the way and helped me, so i will do the same as well for those who will be coming.

at church...

after going through telling people that i have come back for-Ever and got a job, i went for service and lots thoughts came to my mind. after coming home, i am in the process of settling down, readapting, refreshing the memory, getting the job, filling my time, finding out things here and there.

just as i try to be faithful, God is faithful and has already shown me His faithfulness even more.

some quote, my quote...

'All great plans are just great plans until its worked upon to be great works.'
-William Kwong-

i may have read something similar somewhere. but i was talking to john and somehow in the sentence i typed that. and oh, cool... sounds like a great quote or big wisdom. haha...

but it mostly reflects me that i dream a lot, has lots of great or crazy plans/ideas (or so i think it is), but i never carry it out.
its either, i didn't do it.
or procrastinated and so didn't do it in the end.
or did a bit but got too hard/troublesome and so didn't do it.
or did it but didn't send it off.
or talk only but didn't do it.
and the times that i had worked on them, it was great. it was worth all the effort.

slowly, i had to build it up. and establish that dream/idea within myself and know how much i want it. and if i want it so much, i'll have work on the amount that is required or more.

work?

Praise God!!! it's confirmed now. i have a job now. i can't post where, just in case, because of the latest news reports about employers reading employees blogs and so employees got into lots of trouble.

only 6 weeks home and i've got a job already. and this weekend is only my 6th weekend. How Great Is Our GOD. it is really God's grace and blessings. i must really remember that and not just talk for now only.

i will start on 2nd october. so i have one week of 'holidays' left. haha... got to finish my project by then. got an extended dateline.
well, its a start now. there is so much to learn. this is only a first step.

happy? of course i am.
joyful? yes i am again.
scared? yes. got to raise 100% alertness in the world now. cannot be so nice now.
amazed? again and again of God.
questions? yes. there are still some bits that i still question about.

i remember how edward told me he applied to only one job and he got it and when jessica (ocf canberra) said she was only one month back before getting a job, i was quite amazed... and really wondered how it could happen.

now i know. God.

counting weeks.....

well, counting the weeks just like uni weeks. i think its week 6 that i'm back here already. there were lots of things to do at first. but now, lesser. and i have to find things to do. so been practising the piano again and now with the youth groups guitar, and also working on a project. just to keep me going.

God is great. He has been. He always will. He granted me job interviews very fast and even a job. though things did get complicated (it is still as i'm typing now), i have to pray a lot and also decide. there is risk, money, career prospects and more to consider.

why is life so complicated? haha... a common cry of the human heart.
whenever things look bad, or when i feel down, i always have to keep falling back on one thing : that God had pointed me home.

singapore...

last weekend (9th Sept), 2 cars of KL people went down to singapore. it was definitely great. it took a while to get accustom to the people around me. from being the one of the seniors in adelaide, now i'm the youngest back again. and when i was catching up, i got to refresh my memory to when did they return. and it varies from 6 months to 2 years. and it seemed as though it was yesterday that i saw fannie left in mid '04.

there's so much more to learn from them and a very different view too. not that the advices that i got from my seniors in adelaide are not good. its just that the advice from the returnees in malaysia, is different because it is different in malaysia.

they shared their experiences, from their initial return to getting a regular time-plan each week. and i do start to feel the drag. man, i really respect the returness that return to malaysia or their respective countries. they deserve respect.

the way down was really an adventure. i was the only guy in this car and also the only uni adelaide on that trip. the uni SA people are really close to each other.

we left about 8-9pm and halfway down, someone had left the passport. so we didn't turn back but went to johor to look for a bus terminal. got lost looking for the bus terminal. waited a while to ensure the person's safety. really prayed for safety. the person got back to KL safely and took a bus back down to singapore.

after that, we got lost getting out of the bus terminal and trying to find our way to singapore. reaching singapore, we got lost again trying to find location A that was set as a meeting point. after lots of frustration and helplessness, we found orchard road, stopped there, and called others to pick us up there. the time we finally reached our respective homes? 3.30 a.m.

we had lunch with aunty merrilyn. and with her limited time, she wisely divided her time to spend significant time with everyone (about 12 of us). while she went for the singapore alumni meeting, we did some shopping. had dinner with aunty merrilyn and later proceded to kevin's house.

at his house, more catch-up's and aunty merrilyn had a heart for kevin's grandmother. she shared about Jesus and prayed for kevin's grandmother. we sang Christian songs with richard leading jin jia ho. haha... a jewelled moment.

it was great to be able to meet aunty merrilyn and say a proper goodbye and tell her about the wonderful'ness of God. and fannie shared how refresing it is to see aunty merrilyn again.

greater?

How Great is Our God!

after i sent the email to danny, that day itself i got a call from another bank for an interview on thursday. and so went for it, and it went well. this 2nd bank has only 2 levels of interview.
haha.. and this second bank, keep asking me about this SAS (stats) software that i used in uni. i couldn't really remember everything and also the statistical terms. and only to find out later, that they are using that same software in the bank. check that out!

and today (friday), got call from the 1st bank to proceed onto the 3rd level interview on monday. and later, a call from the 2nd bank for the 2nd level interview on tuesday.

wow... i'm just amazed at the paths. and to hear of ben getting a job as well. wonderful...
and my aunt just called me to say that she has friends in banks and will ask them about any openings in those banks. interestingly her friends are each in 3 or 4 different banks. haha...

however, the highlight!

going down with fannie + phoebe + others + me in one car tonight to singapore. its a small gathering or elvin said its big, to see aunty merrilyn tomorrow on sat. will be there on friday night till sunday night. its plus other older (+ older) ocfers. so, i'm the youngest baby, clocking in only 1 month back home...
daryl and the others will be going down in other cars.
do pray for safety in the journey for the friday night cars and saturday morning cars. coming back is also sunday night and monday morning... thank you...

how nice... this trip is marking my 1st month back home.
man, its only one month and i felt like 4 months passed?

wonderful, magnificent God!

how great...

How GREAT Is Our GOD!

my interview with the agency has 4 levels. 2 levels with the agency, the other 2 with the company.

the interview on monday was only the 1st level. i went there to present myself and also to sit for a personality test. the personality test is sent to the company. if personality don't fit, then too bad. of course, counting in the short interview as well.

and on the day itself, they called me back to come in today (tuesday) for the group discussion. 8.45 a.m. till 1 pm. (the amount of people taking the LRT during peak period, in short, just don't do it. i waited 20 minutes (to hustle and bustle) just to get into the train.)

the day started off with an essay test, to test written and analytical skills. and later during the group discussion, we were to present our individual top 10 points and later a group discussion to decide our top 10 points.

and they were observing EVERYTHING. while the presenter was presenting, they were observing my eye contact on the presenter and my sitting posture! even the way i walked up to present.

and i, not knowing anything, just being myself suddenly found out about all these stuff. and i just got through like that.
and now, i think about the 3rd level assessment, okay... there's something to be nervous about. but again, i'm knowing, this is God's hands. i can only do my part and be true to myself and God.

its ALL God's Grace and Blessings and Guidance.
nothing else...
i did nothing except prepare what i can and pray for peace, faith and guidance.

when i found out i pass the 2nd level and onto the 3rd, i was like, 'sai mm sai (need or not need) ah... God, so fast?'
there were 5 of us. only me and another girl made it. was like survivor series.
i also found out, in the past 1-2 weeks, they were interviewing 20 people a day and none of them got through.

How Great is Our God!

its not a job offer yet though i've made it this far. the 3rd level is with the company. they will call me to decide when the 3rd interview is. the 3rd interview has a one day assessment of the 20 selected by the agency (out of about 300), having a game, and a tough group discussion again.

i don't know how many the company will be choosing. but this 3rd level has 4 branch managers and 4 HR managers observing this time, compared to just 3 observing in the agency.

got to prepare and do what i can. i believe even if i do get the job, its going to be a tough job. it is in one of the top banks. KL.
got to research on the bank and check out a lot of stuff.

whether i get the job or not, that's for God to point and give. i will just do my best.

How Great is Our God! ALL Glory to God!
that is the sweetness of God. and it is only this far. what more to come...
it's my first interview.