waliau...

talk about a day gone wrong...

really gone wrong.
spoiled mood.
ground shaken.
fears arise.

that's what it's like to have your daily plan interrupted and changed. then have an unfinished task. unable to coordinate stuff. and having to change lots of plans.

i don't like being stepped upon or taken advantage of. i really 'hate'. and that's a strong word. just because people have not seen me get angry doesn't mean they can't say anything they want about me, or treat me like rubbish. and it happens a lot. alright, so i have imperfections. and so you can look down on me? crap. from your own Christian brothers and sisters some more.

and that just butterfly effect to lots of stuff, from stressed out trying to rearrange plans to offending people in the process in frustration to forgetting about calling my parents and leaving them waiting and getting scolded.

ok. less talking. more smiling. more prayer. take away the noise. i want to hear God speak. breathe. slowly.... slowly....

slowly... slowly...