one night...

2 nights ago.. i lie down... and just think.

my thoughts flew back to adelaide, to my 2nd family, and oh! its swot week. (the week before exam starts)

Swot - (English dialect), sweat,
from Middle English swot, from Old English swAt.

i remember i was taught that it meant Study WithOut Thinking. heh heh..

i just prayed for them. i know i can't be there (of course) but i know that God can be there. He is always there, everywhere, with them. i sent them an sms that they remember God.

for those who know what i went through, i'll tell you that the same God that has planned my uni life (all the joy and pain) and faithfully brought me through it, is ever faithful and will also bring YOU through. every single step on the path or off the path is in God's control.

i don't deny that i question the pain all the time. i always ask and think it out: 'why all the pain? need so much meh? no other way ah? don't need so pain right?'
but i also turn on my wisdom brain and think again: 'if none of the pain happened, even the smallest, what will happen to me?'

i really can't remember who told me this but i'd really really like to thank him. i hold on to it all the time.
"in all these pain, take heart to know that God is doing something in you. God is preparing you for His purpose. something so big you'd never dream of. are you going to be faithful to walk in His path all the way?

and in all these pain, you are being tried and tested. do you persevere through it all? and when you were persevering, were you faithful and honouring God and living for Him?"

well, here i am, God. grounded, mashed, broken, moulded, polished, tried and tested. is there gold?

my days are passing pretty slowly. most likely because i keep on counting my days from august 13th.