days are hard...

days are hard... complain? no... don't.

but i did complain. just let out a little steam here and there. but the whole house have been working hard. the pressure is mounting and time is running out.

would it be times of nightmares of a student? i guess it could be. fear will always come. i'm always attacked in the mind. bad thoughts and negative thoughts always comes. there will be moments where there is no hope. i'm standing on so much uncertainty. i have to admit that my faith gets dry many a times. i lay confused and huh? i can't sing, can't pray or worship properly. hands of failure seem to be reaching out to me as i frantically wave my arms to avoid being caught. mood swings. it is hard to pick yourself up. you get encouragements here and there from others, but only those who have really failed before will understand.

i pray that God protect my mind and heart. that God refreshes me. that God will show His presence more. that i will trust God that everything after my finals, will fall into place. so i need not worry whether plans will go right or not.

concentration will lapse from time to time. short breaks are a good refreshing to the mind. days seem long and short. probably lost the time. body clock has been shifting a lot. need consistency.

reading 'Wild at Heart' by John Eldridge at the same time. having good ponderings and realizations.

danny's 'encouraging line': 'oh, its only week 11. nothing wan. don't need to worry. still got a lot of time'