melancholic...

been feeling a little melancholic lately due to everyone leaving. yeah... there are many who are still here but everyone's everywhere. danny is in canberra, carter went home, arthur has his own programs. i am trying to figure out what i can do together with my mother. can't join my friends.

and it's holidays! aren't we suppose to be doing something or doing everything possible? where's everybody? where's the programs? there's no one to disturb! of course that's not the main thing, but where's everybody?

added that there are OCFers who are going to convention are going to leave soon, it doesn't leave much space and time to spend with each other.
also lost track of time.

on the side note, i don't think i've been treating my mother nice enough. i try very hard to find things for my mother and i to do together so that my mother don't get bored. but then also, i have certain bouts when i'm just angry at my parents. for certain stuff. but its a long story and history. i have no idea why at times i'm impatient with my mother or have times where communication doesn't connect. maybe too many changes here and there or wanting to spend more time with friends. there must be some reason but i have no idea what. this is terrible.

its that time of the year again where people go back home, or graduate and leave. lots of OCFers will be gone. but that's the cycle of OCF. at least we meet for one last friday. God will lead us to different paths.

where is everybody?

2nd part...

from the book about the missionary James Fraser in China,
another line was...

from Dr. Stuart Holden's testimony where he said that one of the greatest blessings of his life had been his unanswered prayers.
James Fraser said that unanswered prayers have taught him to seek the Lord's will instead of his own.

we have a lot of asking prayers. but that's a 'one way communication' type of prayer. not a conversation with God.

one of the most common guides for prayer is the ACTS pattern of prayer. A=adoration, C=confession, T=thanksgiving and S=supplication. there is a web address for you to see the further elaboration.
http://www.prayerguide.org.uk/actsmodel.htm

here's also another interesting thought.
i remember edward was saying that God answers all prayers. with yes'es and no's. God saying no to the prayer is also still God answering the prayer.

John 15:7
'If you abide in Me, and My Words abide in you, ask for whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.'

James Fraser

was reading a book about James Fraser. very interesting and thought-provoking parts...

there was a portion that says,

It was possible to get so entangled in the things of earth that the spirit could not rise above them.

the devil knows this and pours earthly things upon you to keep you down, so that you go under and not over when the battle comes.

then i realised, waliau! that is pretty deep and catchy too. we may be able to see some adults who are entangled already.

i wonder, as well, looking around, will any of my friends or even i be entangled in the future? (or even now?)
present, we are just students.
future, we are working adults.

i sometimes wonder too, whether the adults used to be like us in their OCF or CF last time, and now are being who they are. pride, materials, politics and not God in church, unwise, faking it, no tranparency and the rest.

wrong course?

cialat! wrong course or inaccurate survey? haha...

You Should Get a MD (Doctor of Medicine)

You're both compassionate and brilliant - a rare combination. You were born to be a doctor.

What Advanced Degree Should You Get?

southside...

visited southside today. mother wanted to.

the sermon was about worship and the many types of hebrew words for praise compared to english that has one. i can't remember the hebrew words though.

in front of me, there was sign language being given. and i'm pretty amazed at the heart of the lady doing it. it was full of expression and she really made sure the person getting it gets the whole message, not missing anything out.

then it just suddenly came to my mind when they were singing. the lady lead, singing with sign language for the person to follow the timing of the song.

its truly the heart that counts and God sees and knows.

P.S. - students are still having exams till the 19th.

Complete...

justin sang this song during his worship session. and so right it is. i got the song of danny and just had it going over and over again.

Complete
Parachute Band

Here I am, Oh God
I bring this sacrifice
My open heart, I offer up my life

I look to You, Lord
Your love that never ends
Restores me again

*So I lift my eyes to you Lord
In your strength will I break through Lord
Touch me now, let your love fall down on me
I know your love dispels all my fears
Through the storm I will hold on Lord
And by faith I will walk on Lord
Then I'll see beyond my calvary one day
And I will be complete in You

yup...

yup, my mother is here. that explains the lesser typing but also cause exams are really near. so sorry for not typing much. exams on the 7th, 9th and 11th. do pray for me! [exam period is from the 5th to 19th Nov]

i have to say that at times, i just crumble (yes, strong Christians do crumble). at times i feel very discouraged and as if there is no hope. i pray really hard for protection of the mind and for strength. many times i find myself crying out to God, 'Lord, help me believe that You will bring me through.' help me to place more confidence in You, Lord. one thing i didn't do though was open up and look in the bible whenever any bad thoughts come.

now, i understand even more the heaviness that there is to push out of the mental barrier, break the bondage and pick yourself up. i really understand now, how come it can be a test and how the test can be a great and heavy proof of the chaff being burned away to reveal the true character, and then the refining of the silver until it reflects the Refiner's image.
sigh... i really respect those that have gone through such tests before and stood firm faithfully.

anyway, i was reading from Billy Graham's book, about fear. and there was an old saying,

'Fear knocked.
Faith answered.
No one was there.'

P.S. Handy's birthday today. his 21st. OCFers pinned him down and gave a nice body decoration. i owe him a present. i promise i'll get it but i'd rather it be something that you need. what you need for missions in the future?