fear.

swot week.

i spent the whole of last week in uni. coming back to college only to sleep. i didn't eat the meals or see my friends. only a few times. i nearly joined the phantom club in the college. that explains my one week of absence on the site. my exam was today in the morning.

on saturday night, i was in uni. early evening and i didn't feel so well. felt weak and feverish and cold. i didn't know what i was feeling. it was later on sunday night when i felt the same feeling again that i really found out what it was. it was fear.

fear. fear of not doing well. fear of not getting good results. the pressure of doing well amounts to its fullest. the trauma of the semester before. facing the same event that broke you down. a pivoting moment in your life. am i able to face it? fighting to avoid the same mistake. trying to be strong. to keep strong. to be wise and not let other things poke in the mind. the heart feels weak and the mind disturbed.

called home. cried, as the pressure is mounting. then went and study. and to remember to put all things in God's hands. kept calm. did my best though the worries and fear keep knocking on the door of my heart and mind. i just put it behind in God's hands.

sat for the paper. the paper was reasonable. not too tough. could do. i could do better. i can slowly start to smile. i hope i did ok, or hopefully more, did well. very tired at the moment. couldn't sleep last night. the only rest was because i kept still on the bed. haha... going to nap...*power shutdown*