a box in the heart...

the year is ending ... bla bla bla ....happy new year.. bla bla bla...

besides those above, i slowly realise that it IS going to be 2007. and i realise again, it has NOT been that far since i graduated. it was ONLY aug 13 since i came back. that makes IT 4 and a half months since i came back. and i have been working for 3 months now.

i'm still stuck in that phase of time really passing so slowly. i thought 4 years has passed. but no, it is still 2006! i watched the world cup! i sat those exams! i graduated!
i was thinking about it. it probably felt so long has passed because we were really that close in Adelaide. and with just some short moment of days or weeks passing, it felt like years has passed.

oh yeah... a box in the heart. i don't think i'm 'giving' that well to the youths. i do 'give' but i know myself that i have been reserved. i feel like i have this precious box in my heart that i have sealed and reinforced it with top security. what's that box? that is everything in Adelaide. i fear that if i open it up or give any away, i'd forget about it and it will all just fade into the wind and disappear.

even now that the year is passing ( in a few hours time), i get that little scared feeling that as the year starts, i start losing that precious box bit by bit as things are continuing on and also starting anew.

things are hard to let go.
and also to quote one of my beloved seniors wise words before i left, 'to move on, you've got to let go.'

have a blessed year ahead...

1 Corinthians 2:9
However, as it is written: "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him
[do look up this verse and read furthermore the passage]

what a saturday...

a saturday filled... that's great. but a bit too filled also.
morning - hike with GCFers.
late afternoon - youth committee meeting at church.
evening - dinner with OCFers. more like ex-ocfers.

had a climb up klang gates mountains with the GCFers. it is not a hike. a hike sounds very easy. it was a climb. a real real climb. we prayed before we climbed. and safety was great. no serious injuries or twists or sprains.

the hike or streneous climb took longer than expected. i couldn't make it for my MYF meeting. so sorry to the pres. bad example... but sent her and called her for apologies. will be at the next meeting.

it was great having a gathering at stephanie's house. richard and sylvy was there too. drove up from singapore. it is pretty much the oldies. all of them have left before me. oh oops! except shelley.
and well, some things never change. we're still crazy. but our talks have gone to financial planning and investment. how cool is that? it is now a time of 'what are we going to do with the money that we have earned?'. haha... i foresee we're going to be talking about baby powder and parenting 10 years down the road.

writings...

a weary traveller on the narrow road,
each step shuffles on to a direction with hope,
knowing each step is in faith,
knowing each step takes his strength.

a quiet pool is of great blessings
for the heart that sacrificed much,
knowing prayer brought him far,
knowing comfort is of God.

only God knows his heart,
what makes him smile or aches,
of heart-lifting experiences that brings life , and
of colourful memories that are now only shades,

of a song,
when its all been said and done,
there is just one thing that matters,
did i do my best to live for Truth?
did i live my life for You?

the lonely traveller finds solace
in the Word of God that never changes,
giving his best to shine for God, to be
giving His love to others,
knowing most is never seen.

'what jewels do i have to show?' he despairs.
'your jewels are in my hands', said the Lord.

that's all he needed to know.

Christmas?

nah.. didn't feel much actually this Christmas, as in those Christmas excitement.
maybe cause i've been busy doing stuff + working.

but one thing did encourage me most was a gift.
i got a planet shakers shirt. it kind of struck me a lot. it has like many folds but also show i think a lot.

1) it is a first gift from a church friend + youth cell group leader.
- a welcome back from my church friend. we grew up together in church. honestly, i didn't expect anything. so i got quite a shock. she thought of me when i was involved with the church musical and couldn't go for the planet shakers conference. + it was too far.
2) its expensive.
- waliau! i know the prices of these t-shirts man...
3) planet shakers is from Adelaide.
- i guess she didn't think of that (maybe she did) but it is a kick or a little taste of Adelaide. so, indirectly, a thought of Adelaide is given for my Christmas present.
4) i feel loved.

i am guilty for not getting anyone anything. just got a few stuff.

besides doing 'stuff', i was trying to focus and learn, more of strip everything down to its core to see Christmas as it really is. you know, we always hear those type of messages/emails titled, 'the true meaning of Christmas' or 'what is Christmas actually?'.
it would be my fault to bore myself (in a way) this Christmas but i wanted it. i wanted to see its wire-frame and foundations.
its just some sudden desire lately to strip everything down and see what it really is.

Jesus Christ. God. Emmanuel.

busy nights,,,

busy nights?
oh yeah man...

i didn't plan but the plans came.

i can't remember what i did on monday. i just remember i worked late.
tuesday was music practise for Christmas service. its quite a difficult song to pull off nicely.
wednesday was shopping, alone. and i know shopping's not one of my talent. going through the whole KLCC pretty quick and remembering shop's lot numbers are my talents.

thursday was company dinner. and so they say i've made a new meaning to the word 'bottomless'. i ate a lot.

after that was Gillian's birthday. i was super late. company dinner lasted till 10 and i reached her home at 10.50 p.m. (starts at 8pm) but i was ever determined to go.
not only to pass her my gift, but to also see my sister. she took care of me and nurtured me + having lots of patience with me, always telling me things to do or not to do (most i don't understand why or her intentions-of-wisdom too).
i only understood at a much later stage. how could i ever thank her? i miss my sister very much.
it was a small but big hearted celebration with close friends. i'm 'proud' to say that i was the youngest there. hee hee hee...
having just this little meeting, it is a precious little memory. inspires and refreshes.

i know this is going to sound kind of dramatic but its true.
it hasn't been long. but a hug makes a lot of difference. A LOT.
i know i felt care, refreshment and burdens lifted.
a hug....