sick...

well, i guess every body has a limit. having shortage of sleep and yet keeping production at a high level has its toll. woke up like normal today, but body badly aching and very hot. even breathing was hard.

still have some work to finish today, so i decided just emergency leave for half a day in the morning. but as time passes, totally wasn't alright. so a trip to the doctor gets me an MC.

being at home, gives me time to think and reflect. though at the moment, i'm more in stuck-brain mode and having a headache. but the quiet time gives me time, to just pause and ask God, how are things at the moment in my life? is it alright or has it been going wrong? who haven't i been asking 'how are you?'

last saturday i went to a wedding in shah alam. it was nice coming together again. seeing my uni friends. really encouraging.
the younger brother was sharing about how he admired his elder brother (bridegroom) and appreciating him. he shared about how his brother always wakes up at pray early in the morning. how does he know? because the brother prays very loudly. and why he doesn't ask him to pray softer or stop praying? because the brother was praying for him and the family.

irony...

its quite interesting to see how some people ridicule or compare those who put people first and those who put career first.

those that put people first would be spending more time with people, and in some ways, have a slower career in effect (ministering to others has its sacrifices.) and they praise those who have put career first and saying 'yeah.. well done... that's the way.' of course, some would still put effort into ministering and balance their efforts well, but most of the time, it is so pale in comparison to the effort and time in career.

and the irony of it is that, the same people that are ridiculing the 'people-first' person are the same ones that are complaining how selfish the world is.

agathians shelter...

reached home at 1a.m. (fri night/sat morn) after picking my mother up. slept about 5 hours and had to wake up to go to Agathians Shelter Home. the boys of mostly primary school age.

the day has gone well despite some hiccups. no injuries and they like the day out. the boys in my car just wished it was a longer day and they could go to the playground.

thank you to everyone in the small group who put in their effort for their preparation on friday and also waking up way early on a saturday. it was really encouraging to see everyone working together.

i have to say i was alright.. but also was very flustered towards the end. i'm not that good with little kids and my tolerance for little kids isn't that high. there were too many of them. but i tried my best lah... apologies to jon and anyone i offended, or 'snapped' a bit...not really a good example... i can still hear the kids voices in my head... 'can i play with the ball?' 'what are we doing now?' 'where to get water?' 'can i go to the playground?' 'what is happening next?'...

leaders, but not followers...

was reminded of something important today.

the tendency for leaders is to lead. always lead. and that strength itself also causes the weakness of an inability to follow. it is varies to different levels for each person.

i remember seeing many times, how someone who is charge gets some sort of a 'dressing down' or 'barriers' because the more experienced leaders were wanting to do things their way because it is better(which is possible) but then at the expense of the schedule of the PIC (person in charge). i find that pretty saddening and told myself to always be aware of that. sometimes alright, sometimes not; of which i regret badly. its not a good example at all.

so when you're in a group of talented leaders, it can get messy. submission is the thing that's needed. and i remember i learnt in OCF how no matter whether you're some great leader or whatever, you still have to submit to the person in charge of the event. even if its a first year student who is organizing. support him. that's the encouragement he needs. the participation, not the words of 'well done'.

i think the most obvious example is comparing youth camps and adult camps. youths will always be following the schedule and participating. for adults, much criticism will be on the schedule/event, followed by an inability to follow (for some 'justified' reason), packaged together with their own preferred schedule which they gladly just do as they wish... and watching from the sidelines.

waiting in KL sentral...

had preparation for our trip to Agathian's Shelter tomorrow. giving all the boys a little trip at Lake Gardens.

got to be at church at 7.45am tomorrow. i'm in trouble for that cause i'm still waiting for my mother to reach KL sentral. her itenary says that she'll touch down at 10.30pm and maybe check out time takes an hour and the train takes 28 minutes. she should be here by 12. but its 12.25am now. this is not good.

my mother's coming back for 2 weeks cause she miss home. really. my sister is also returning from her 6 months exchange programme and it'll be 3 of us together for 2 weeks. (i dread this period a little cause it is lots of logistics to arrange and be careful of... plus the amount of things that is happening that time)...

i'm going to be running on adrenaline tomorrow. though its just a 8-11 thing but its still tiring. fortunate to have my laptop here. but the battery is running out. and so is my body battery. been up since 6am today. in 5 hours more, it'll be 24 hours awake.

ah well, what to do. perhaps this quiet time is what i need. it is pretty quiet. my eyes are going blur a bit. a lot of wifi's provided in KL sentral. well, i guess its a business area and its definitely needed. i don't see many people waiting for this beijing flgiht. got taxi drivers around. the only speaking voice is the bloomberg news, some construction and the occasional mumblings of passer-by's.

had dinner with richard, sylvy, yvonne, chok, eng poh and ian on thursday night. everyone's coming together in KL because Jansen and Sharon are getting married tomorrow. it was so nice to see them again. adults stuff being discussed now and of course, the nonsense. some things never change... haha...

breathe in.. breathe out... breathe in.. breathe out... brain starting to fail too...